


Boys Will Be Boys

by im_an_idjit



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Middle School, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Kidfic, M/M, Slow Build, smut in last chapter, they're more like frenemies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1713224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_an_idjit/pseuds/im_an_idjit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since the age of ten, Dean Winchester has been the bane of Castiel's existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel liked Sam Winchester.

Sam had been the one to initiate contact on the first day of school. He hadn't found Castiel weird because he was shy and reclusive, or because he was unwilling to speak or make eye contact. He was the only one who had approached Cas. Sam, with his bright, hazel eyes and dimples and sheepish smile, bashfully ranting about forgetting his crayons back home and wondering if maybe they could share, please?

Cas took a look at his packet of crayons, still sealed and shining pristinely. Mother had bought them specially for just this occasion: Cas' start of first grade. _Real,_ big-boy school, Michael had called it.

He looked at Sam again, whose eyes were wide and hopeful. With a timid smile of his own, Castiel nodded slowly, and shuffled over when Sam moved to take a seat. They were the the only ones with the legendary peach-coloured crayon, and at the end of the day, the only ones whose families did not look like they had suffered a bad tan, or were the Simpsons.

Sam Winchester was friendly, intelligent and had a big heart. He laughed a lot, mostly at anything Castiel said, but not in the mean way other children had before, in kindergarten. He didn't mind that Cas used big words or that most jokes flew over his head. Sam's laughs were pleasant and sincere. They lit up his eyes as if the sun had shone on his face, and they evoked a warmth in Cas that made him feel a little happier, a little braver.

So yes, Castiel liked Sam. He liked his honesty, his loyalty, and he liked that he called Cas his friend.

What Castiel did not like was Sam's older brother.

It was only one week after school had begun when Cas had his first play date at the Winchester home. Once his teacher dismissed them after the bell, Castiel and Sam headed outside to wait for Sam's mother. As children's chatter and giggles rang around them, Sam animatedly recounted how Miss Missouri had praised his drawing of a flowering plant, until his eyes focused on something and widened in succession. The story of his artistic skills was instantly dropped in favour of a cry of,

"Dean! Over here!"

Cas turned around to see a tall boy with sandy blond hair grin and wave back from the top of the stone steps. Within seconds, he was parting from his own friends and skipping down the stairs, striding in their direction.

Up until then, Cas had never actually met Dean Winchester, but had nonetheless heard much about him from his brother. From the way Sam had described him as "the coolest" and "seriously awesome", coupled with the fact that the two were related, Castiel expected the ten-year-old to be much like his brother. The same kind-hearted, amiable person Sam was. For the first few moments, it seemed that his assumptions were correct, with the small addendum of Dean being slightly more physical than Sam.

"Hey, Sammy." He grabbed his younger brother in a headlock and ruffled his shaggy hair with his knuckles, but it was evident the action was accepted as affectionate from the way Sam chortled and shoved back playfully.

"Dean, _stop!_ " he insisted, parting his hair back when his sibling did so. "Dean, this is Cas! He's coming home with me to play." Sam wound an arm around Castiel's shoulder to stress his point.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel responded and stuck his hand out politely, the way he was taught to around strangers. "It is nice to meet you."

Dean's brow scrunched in return, before he dubiously squeezed Cas' hand back. It hurt. "Hey." His smirk made Cas feel a lot smaller than the 9 inches Dean had over him.

Dean didn't show any interest in attempting to further the conversation (honestly, neither did Castiel) and instead opted to listen to Sam launch into his plant story again. Castiel tuned in to the tale and smiled whenever Sam looked over to him for affirmation. Just as the story reached its pivotal point, he was interrupted by the sound of Mary Winchester calling for her sons, and more hugs and introductions took place. Mrs Winchester was considerably more civil in her greetings than Dean had been, and happily shook Cas' hand when he offered it.

Soon enough, he was being led along to where her car was parked. As Mary pulled out of the school parking lot, she asked about the boys' day in school. Dean, who was sitting shotgun, made communication substantially difficult as he shot at pedestrians with a finger gun, complete with sound effects and wild gestures. Castiel was too timid after their last exchange to ask him to minimize his volume, but after a few reprimands, Mary calmed him down enough for the boys in the back to hear her without trouble.

"All right, go get a start on your homework, all three of you," Mrs Winchester instructed as they piled into the house, and sent them each upstairs with a juice box and a promise to call them when lunch was ready.

Castiel tread up the staircase after Sam, where they parted with Dean in favour of the younger Winchester's bedroom. Sam wasted no time in giving him the grand tour of all his toys and the books his parents bought him to practice his reading. Cas read each title from the row of spines aloud, with Sam stepping in when a word was too big or complicated. They agreed to go through a few pages of the first book in Sam's _Frog and Toad_ collection after their homework was over with.

"Here, I'm gonna get a chair from Dean's room! You can sit down on the desk, 'kay?" Sam offered, then zipped out of the room before Cas had a chance to reply (not that he would have refused – he simply wanted to point out it was 'sit _at_ the desk', rather than 'sit on'). His friend was back and rolling in a desk chair in seconds, and soon after they had their books open and their activity sheets at the ready.

Cas hadn't done more than five sums of his Math homework when Dean came barging into the room with a comic book tucked under his arm. "What're you up to, squirt?" he asked after he was settled on Sam's twin bed. From the corner of his eye, Cas could see him flicking open the first page of his comic- _Batman_ , from the looks of the cover.

"Homework," Sam answered around the tip of his pencil.

The crinkle of a turning page followed. "From what?" Dean recurred.

"Math. Did you do _your_ homework?"

"Yeah." A pause. "Mostly."

" _Dean_ ," came the chiding response, "Mom said you _have_ to do your homework."

"Yeah, fine. Whatever. You're not gonna tell." It came out as a statement, but Castiel didn't miss the questioning look that flickered through Dean's eyes as he glanced at his brother.

Cas followed the exchange wordlessly as he sipped his orange juice and contemplated what the addition of eight and six was. He wrote down his answer of fourteen and moved on, realizing only after a poke to the shoulder that he was being spoken to.

Castiel looked up from his paper to find Dean standing beside him, frowning. "Excuse me?" he asked.

"I said, thirteen minus seven ain't five, it's six," the blond told him, obviously irritated. "Thought Sammy said you were smart," he mocked.

Which wasn't fair at all, because Castiel was very good at addition, especially by twos and fives. It was only subtraction that gave him trouble. Abashed and hurt, he mumbled, "Oh. Thank you for the correction."

Dean shrugged in return and chewed the inside of his cheek. Then, scooping up his abandoned comic book, he muttered something about a worksheet from English and promptly left.

Having read into Castiel's silence, Sam said, "Hey, how about we go over the answers together when we're done?"

Castiel smiled, and nodded.

* * *

He came over to Sam's house several more times after that, and although Dean remained unpleasant, it no longer surprised Cas much. What confused him however, was why the boy was being mean to _him_ specifically. Gabriel, who knew Dean on account of being in the same grade, had said that was just the way the Winchester was born: a jackass (he'd gotten a slap upside the head from Michael for the language). But having been at the Winchester home long enough to pick up on certain things, Castiel learned that Dean generally wasn't as rude to others as he was to him.

Dean helped his mother regardless of whether she asked or not, and loved every minute of attention she gave him, letting her hug or kiss him when other boys his age found that embarrassing. He respected his father and was obedient to a fault, but it was obvious the two loved each other from the way they joked around. Even at his young age, Dean showed an interest and talent in working with cars, so John often took him to the auto repair shop he owned.

And Dean clearly adored Sam, just as his brother idolized him back. He was constantly looking out for him- asking whether anyone was giving him a hard time in school, or giving him tips on the teachers he'd had in the past. And Sam himself told Cas plenty of stories about Dean's kindness. Cas knew that to Sam, he came second only to Dean, something that didn't please him much, however fair it might have been.

So why was Castiel getting the unwanted attention? He hadn't wronged Dean in any way. They had barely spoken to one another since their first encounter. Yet every time Cas visited, Dean would pass on snide remarks, or tease him about his height and the state of his unruly hair. Cas never graced him with more than a blink and a greeting in turn, but as more time passed, it became harder to ignore his jeers and sarcasm and sly smirks, until the resolve to stay polite crumbled in Castiel. Slowly, he began to return a short retort, or the occasional eye-roll and scowl, but it only ever seemed to fuel Dean's bothersome streak further.

On Saturday, the first of many in the newly-arrived Christmas break, Cas stayed over at Sam's with the plans for a sleepover. He sat cross-legged on the couch, tucked into a lumpy comforter and snuggled beside Sam for warmth. A bowl that was once filled with popcorn was left on the floor by their feet as the sound of _SpongeBob SquarePants_ reruns played from the TV. Outside, light snow had started to fall hours ago, though it was barely visible against the grey curtain of clouds that had congregated en masse.

Cas felt the first signs of sleep creeping up on him when the front door opened and shut, accompanied by a chilling gust of wind in the interval between. In the background, the voices of Dean and John Winchester mingled amongst each other, the younger marvelling about alternators and heat exchangers (neither of which meant anything to Castiel) as the other hummed in acknowledgement.

"Help me get these to the kitchen," John grunted.

Sam twisted around and peeked over the top of the couch, with Cas following his lead. "Hi, Dad," he called.

"Hey, Sammy," came the response as John kicked off his shoes and struggled to balance the four plastic bags in his hands simultaneously. Looking up, his eyes widened in surprise. "Castiel, you're here too? How are you, son?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Mr Winchester, how are you?" Cas implored in return.

John chuckled before saying, "Good, thanks. You staying the night?"

"Yes," Cas answered at the same time that Sam exclaimed, "Aha, he and I are gonna build a fort tonight!"

"All right, but I don't want you boys going out anymore, you hear me? It's getting colder by the minute and visibility's a bi- I mean, really bad."

Dean, who had returned from the kitchen, made a move to take the remaining bags, but John waved him off with a thank-you and left the hall. "You two gonna sleep in the one bed again?" John yelled again. Castiel didn't need to see his face to know he was grimacing. "I can really get the extra mattress, Cas."

"No, we can fit!" Sam cried defiantly and Cas nodded as attestation.

Dean caught his eye and smirked at them, before barrelling upstairs without another word. Castiel squinted after him suspiciously, but Sam paid no attention. He spun around, dragging his best friend with him, and blanketed them in the comforter again. The two soon started up a meaningless conversation, about classmates and the holidays and how, "I think she likes me, Cas. Dean says when a girl makes you carry her bag and do stuff for her, it means she likes you." All was well until Cas felt something blunt smack him in the back of his head.

He cried out in surprise as he pressed his palm to his scalp in attempt to soothe the stinging pain. Sam only had a second to look confused before succumbing to the same reaction. His eyes travelled from his hand over his shoulder, then widened at what they found.

"Dean!" he shouted angrily.

To this, his brother guffawed and aimed his Nerf gun, opening fire at them. The six-year-olds ducked down, but not before Sam was struck square in the forehead and Cas' cheek was cuffed.

"Dean, quit it!" Sam shrieked again, but this only tempted Dean to come charging at the couch behind which they were hiding. With his toy raised over their heads, he cackled mercilessly while he showered them with foam darts. Castiel tried to shield them from him with the comforter, but during the commotion it had been kicked to the ground and was well out of arm's reach. Retrieving it meant getting a dart to the nose.

The screeches and laughter warranted intervention from Mary, who worriedly called, "John, what is going on downstairs?"

At the sound of his father's footsteps approaching, Dean ceased his attack and dropped his Nerf gun on a nearby armchair. John crossed his arms. "Son, what are you doing?"

"Nothin'," Dean replied with a cheeky smile, but Sam howled indignantly, "He shot his Nerf gun at us!"

John heaved a put-upon sigh, as if dealing with his sons' shenanigans was the most tiring thing in the world. "Just come and help me unpack the groceries, all right?" he told Dean.

As John retreated from the living room, Dean shot one more smug smile in Sam and Cas' direction before taking off after his dad.

Castiel did _not_ like Dean Winchester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has been a thing I've had in mind all month, but thanks to finals, I've only gotten around to writing it now. I have no excuses, other than that I wanted to write Dean and Cas as children. I have no idea how long it'll be, but I can tell you that each chapter will be focusing on a different age of Cas', so yeah. If you get confused, message me and I'll clear it up!


	2. Chapter 2

" _Shut up!"_

Gabriel and Dean were startled out of their argument, Sam hiccoughed in surprise and Lucifer's feet dropped from the dashboard of the car. Castiel's eyes widened as he watched his eldest brother's knuckles turn pale around the steering wheel.

"I swear to God, the next person who screams _in my ear_ is flying out the car!" Michael shouted. Cas couldn't blame him. He'd had his fair share of drives with all three of his siblings present, but this had to be the worst car ride in history. "We are maybe two minutes away from the park and we're spending that time in _silence_. If any of you so much as _breathes_ loudly..." the sixteen-year-old warned. Castiel shrunk as far as he could into Gabriel's lap, which had been his seat for the for the duration of the ride. From his left, Dean shot Gabriel a glare, which the other returned just as vehemently, but neither spoke again. Lucifer made a move to prop his feet back onto the dashboard, but abandoned the attempt at the sight of Michael's scowl.

As promised, no one spoke during the last stretch of the drive and the second Michael rolled into a parking space and turned the engine off, everybody made a scramble for the doors. Once out, Dean and Gabriel trotted off in the direction of the park's entrance and carried on with their heated discussion, while Lucifer trailed along, keeping an eye on the two twelve-year-olds. Only Castiel stayed by the car and waited for Michael to lock up, with Sam apprehensively standing by some three feet away from him.

Michael sighed, taking Castiel's offered hand and smiling slightly. "Where do you want to go?" he asked them.

Sam and Cas shared one look before answering in unison, "Playground!" And at Michael's affirming nod, they started in the direction their brothers had.

The trip to the park wasn't meant to be this problematic, initially. The weather was surprisingly pleasant for a chilly afternoon in October, so Mother had asked Michael to take his brothers out for some air. But then Mary Winchester called, saying that Sam was wondering whether Cas could come over to play. Once she heard about the outing planned, they agreed that Sam would join them to the park. And if Sam was coming, that meant Dean was going to have to go too.

Michael made sure that Cas and Sam's jackets were fully zipped and their caps snugly pulled over their ears, before letting the eight-year-olds run off to the centre of the playground. He repeated the same procedure with Gabriel, and then with Dean, despite his protests, because "I will not be blamed for your hypothermia, Winchester, so keep the damn beanie on." In the end, he allowed Dean to take off his scarf, but only because Michael feared he'd strangle himself with it when running around.

From his spot in the sandpit, Cas watched the older Winchester boy join Gabe by the pond, where they got started on a new topic to bicker about while they threw rocks, competing to see who could reach the weeds across. Michael didn't attempt to stop their fun, but warily followed their movements in case they decided throwing rocks at _each other_ was a more worthwhile activity.

Dean and Gabriel's relationship was trying at best and disastrous at worst. Although they were the same age, they had absolutely nothing in common and could never find a way to get along. Gabriel was too mischievous to resist annoying Dean, and Dean was too stubborn to ignore him. They had constantly been at each other's throats in elementary school, during lunch break or after-school activities. Nowadays, they tolerated each other somewhat better, having matured from the name-calling and pulling faces, to scathing comments and rude gestures when no one was looking.

"Cas, come on!" Castiel's head snapped at the sound of his name. Sam was watching him with a discouraged expression. "My tyrannosaurus ate your stegosaurus. You didn't run fast enough," he said, holding up his plastic dinosaur.

"Sorry," Cas responded after one more glance in the pond's direction. Dean was momentarily running a victory lap around it with his hands fisted above his head, having had struck the weeds first. "I wasn't paying attention," he admitted sheepishly.

"That's okay," Sam assured him, then handed him a new toy. "Here, you wanna be the brontosaurus? He has a really long tail, so he can protect himself better."

Castiel nodded, grinning. They played three more rounds of dinosaurs, taking turns between being predator and prey, until Sam declared that Cas' pterodactyl would never be caught by any dinosaur – not even his own spinosaurus, the biggest of all the theropods – on account of his ability to fly.

Castiel eyed the empty roundabout at the other end of the playground. He pointed at it and asked Sam, "Wanna go on that?" At his best friend's nod, he added, "I'll race you to it!" before taking off at full-speed.

There was a faint laugh of, "That's not fair, Cas!" and then Sam's feet were pounding behind him. Cas reached the contraption first and hopped onto the platform, his momentum sending it spinning slightly. Sam grabbed the closest handhold and, puffing, pulled himself on too. "You run _really_ fast," he wheezed. Cas preened a little at the way his eyes shone with awe.

"I can spin us," the dark-haired boy offered, "and then I'll jump back on once we're going fast enough."

So they agreed to take turns as the spinner each time the roundabout slowed down too much. Once Sam was holding on tightly, Cas tugged and dug his toes into the gravel. Despite Sam being the only passenger, Cas was puffing hard through his nose as he picked up his pace and the roundabout gained speed. Sam cheered him on from the platform, pulling the other up when the ride was going fast enough.

"Do you think we can buy ice cream when we're finished?" Sam asked over the gust of air created by the spinning.

"I think it's too cold for it, Michael won't let us," Cas replied.

Sam adjusted his grip on the bar and regained balance before speaking again. "What about a hot dog?"

"I think so. I can ask." Cas watched Sam jump off in order to start spinning again.

"I'm gonna push it in the other direction," he informed him. "Also, we should bring the dinosaurs to school tomorrow," Sam said evenly, like the weight of the roundabout was nothing. "Then we can play again during recess! Maybe you can ask Gabriel to borrow you his?"

Cas promised to do so and helped Sam back up. The ride didn't last very long altogether, because after all, they were only eight years old, with no concept of upper body strength. Castiel was getting ready to jump down when Dean strode over to the them.

"Hey, dweebs." Truly, Dean Winchester was nothing if not a charmer. "Need a hand with the spinning?"

Castiel's eyes narrowed at the offer, trying to understand the ulterior motive, but Sam answered with a grin, "Yeah, sure."

Cas had no choice but to climb back beside Sam and let Dean take over. His hands closed into fists around the closest cold metal bar as Dean did the same across him. The initial jolt was much more forceful than Castiel has expected – it caused his body to lurch to the side and almost sent him off the platform, if he hadn't regained footing in time. He held on tighter when the speed increased further at an alarming rate. The world around him got blurrier and blurrier, causing a wave of nausea to surge through him. A pounding ache started in his head, and he pinched his eyes shut in attempt to block out the whirling ground. It was of little help.

He wanted to get off. He wanted to feel steady, gravelled ground beneath his feet. He wanted to tell Dean Winchester that he was _not_ funny and that he was _mean_.

Beside him, Cas could hear Sam shrieking with delight. It was probably what had set Michael off, because the next moment, he was slowing down again and the playground was returning into view, even if it was at an angle. His head was still spinning like crazy, but he could vaguely hear his brother fuming, _"_ _Jesus Christ, Winchester, what were you_ thinking? _Do you_ want _them to be sick?"_

Cas stepped off on shaky legs, stopping Sam from toppling over when he leaned forward too much. He was still wearing a goofy smile on his face (well, at least one of them had fun).

"That – was – _awesome_ ," Sam breathed once his eyes slid into focus again. Dean grinned back at him and slapped a hand on his back.

Castiel frowned at the older Winchester. "What was that for?!" he demanded, and even though Michael was standing right there, he said, "You're a jerk."

Glowering, Dean opened his mouth to speak. But Cas didn't hear anything Dean had to say because that was when Sam doubled over to retch, and the conversation was effectively cut off.

* * *

Looking at it, Castiel decided that their castle was coming together nicely. Sam sat next to him, scouring through the sea of Lego bricks flooding the Winchesters' kitchen table, in search of the perfect shape to complete their second floor. Sam and Cas had agreed at the very beginning that they wouldn't be following the box's instructions on constructing the thing. They would have ended up with a rather small castle in all honesty, and they needed a _fortress_ , large and strong enough to fend off rival armies, outlaws and rogue wizards. So they were using some of Sam's other Lego pieces from the gigantic plastic tub hauled down from his room. Consequently, the walls of the castle and its barrier were made of different coloured blocks of red, blue and yellow, along with the standard grey, issued in the set.

"Cas, can you see a brick like this one?" Sam asked and presented a square blue block, with four pegs. "I need two more for the drawbridge," he explained, eying the half-finished structure in question.

Castiel couldn't see _anything_ in the mess they'd made, but he pried off two four-pegged bricks from his own construction – a stable for their war horses – and handed them to Sam. "Here, I can replace them with a bigger piece," he said when Sam looked at him like he was torn between surprise and gratitude.

While Sam thanked him enthusiastically, Cas caught movement in the corner of his eye and turned to see Dean approaching the kitchen. He didn't come in once he reached the entrance, but instead leaned against the archway with his arms crossed.

"Mom, can I get some money?" he asked.

"Can I get a _please_ , first?" Mary hummed from the sink.

Dean sighed, but repeated, "Please, can you give me some cash? I'm going out with Robin."

"Who's Robin?" Sam asked, crinkling his nose as he yanked a red Lego plate off.

"Girl from my class. I'm taking her to the movies," Dean explained suavely.

"Is it like a date?" Sam wondered.

With a sly grin, the other answered, " 'Course, Sammy."

Castiel suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

Sam pressed on, momentarily forgetting his drawbridge. "Is Robin your _girlfriend?_ "

"First of many."

This time, Cas _really_ rolled his eyes. He had no interest in Dean's love life, and wished Sam would let it go and help him finish their castle. But Sam watched his big brother with complete adoration, like he was a god or something. _Honestly_.

Cas himself didn't see the appeal in Dean's words. He'd never had much interest in making friends other than Sam, let alone having a girlfriend. Lucifer had told him that boys could have a boyfriend too, or both if they wanted (just not at the same time). Michael had said he didn't want Castiel having _anyone_ before high school, so they left it at that.

"Don't toot your own horn, mister," Mary told her son. "I need you to be back before seven, all right? And could you stop for groceries on your way back? I'm making chicken nuggets for the boys." She gestured at Sam and Cas with her soapy spatula.

Castiel was spending Friday evening with Sam, before his parents took him out of town for Labor Day weekend. The plan was for Cas to pack everything he needed before going to Sam's, then the rest of the Novaks would pick him up the following morning and head straight for their country house. Castiel had wanted to take Sam with him, but Father pointed out that the Winchesters probably had something planned to do as a family as well.

After she had Dean swear that he'd be home in time, Mary dried her hands against a dish rag and, gesturing to come with her, she approached the twelve-year-old. "Come on, I'll go find my wallet."

Castiel had thought Dean's departure would have allowed Sam to return to their fortress, but he was wrong. He still had that look in his eye, similar to someone witnessing Superman in action.

"What is it, Sam?" Cas asked with an inward sigh, knowing full-well they'd never complete their castle if Sam didn't get this off his chest and _focus_.

" _Dude_ , Dean has a girlfriend," he stressed, as if Cas still didn't get it. "Don't you think it's cool?"

Castiel shrugged. "I guess. What I don't understand is why any girl would date _Dean_." He muttered as an afterthought, "Maybe Robin was hit in the head with a brick."

Sam snorted into his hand. "Cas, that's mean!"

"Well, something must be wrong with her if she agreed to go on a date with him."

Sam looked at him the way he always did whenever there was a dispute about Dean. "Dean's not that bad, Cas. What's up with you two, anyway? You're always arguing."

"He irritates me," Cas replied plainly while digging through several multi-coloured Legos.

"You guys could at least _try_ to get along," Sam reasoned.

Castiel spared him a fleeting glance and responded half-heartedly, "I suppose."

If Sam could tell he was fibbing, he didn't make a comment. Instead, he went back to his drawbridge (finally).

* * *

Dean came barging into Sam's room without so much as a knock three hours later, stunning the two from their attack on the outlaws that had ambushed the village (at this point, Sam and Cas had moved the castle back to the bedroom and had expanded it into an entire kingdom).

"Hey," Dean greeted and tossed a carton of chocolate milk to Sam. Castiel was somewhat surprised when he was handed his own. "Don't tell Mom, she'll say you're not allowed before dinner."

Cas replied with a polite, "Thank you," as always, while Sam gave a more enthusiastic response.

Dean responded with a nonchalant wave, but there was a hint of a smile. He leaned against one of the posts of the bunk bed John had bought after getting tired of seeing Sam and Cas repeatedly attempt (and fail) to fit comfortably into one bed. "What's this?" he asked, jerking his chin at the mess they'd made.

"The village was raided by outlaws, so the king had to send knights to help the peasants," Cas explained.

"And the knights beat the outlaws up," Sam said with a proud grin, but then pointed at the smashed ruins by his side. "Some of the farms didn't make it, though."

"Shame," Dean said evenly. "I'll come back when dinner's done," he added, turning to leave.

"Dean, wait!" Sam called. When his brother was facing him again, he said, "We're pretty much done with our game – there's nothing left but flogging the criminals. Can you play hide and seek with us?"

His smile faltered when the other snorted. "I'm not playing hide and seek, that's a kid's game."

" _Please?_ "

"Sammy, you can play by yourselves," Dean groaned.

"You can't play hide and seek with just two people!" Sam insisted like Dean obviously wasn't getting it.

He looked at Castiel for help. Cas didn't understand why – it wasn't as if Dean would listen to _him_.

But the look Sam was giving him was breaking his heart, so Cas approached reasonably. "We _do_ need a third player. Your mom is busy, and neither of us really like being the seeker anyway."

"Then ask Dad," Dean countered.

"Mr Winchester's busy in the garage with the car," Castiel reminded him with a small smirk.

There was a moment of silence as Dean looked from one boy to another. From the corner of his eye, Cas saw Sam kick his puppy eyes up another notch. Dean's scowl intensified, but it had been enough to break his resolve.

" _Fine_. I'll play your stupid game, but only one round. _And_ my room is off limits, got it?" The other two nodded in response. Without warning, Dean clamped his eyes shut with his hands and yelled, "One!"

Sam and Cas wasted no time in getting to their feet and scrambling out the door. They split up in the living room downstairs, where Sam continued to the kitchen and Castiel stopped to think of the most unlikely places Dean would look.

Any closet or cabinet was obviously out – those where the first spots anyone checked. The same went for underneath one of the beds. Hiding behind doors didn't always pay off, and Cas wasn't sure how much these would squeak if he accidentally moved or something. He needed to find a place that wasn't too bright, so he'd be harder to spot.

Like the Winchester's laundry room.

There was a distinctive yell of, " _Six!_ " as Cas ran to the staircase leading back to the bedrooms and made sure to stay extra quiet while passing Sam's bedroom again. Once the door of the laundry room clicked softly behind him, he was swallowed into darkness. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but he managed to find the basket labelled ' _CLEAN'_ that Mrs Winchester used to transport laundry that had to be ironed. It was just big enough for Cas to fit in without breaking. The contents of the basket were pulled out and hauled back over Castiel's head once he was settled inside. He curled up against his knees and tried to even his erratic breathing out, so it wouldn't give him away when Dean came.

It got hot under the layers of clothes and sheets very quickly. Cas had a second to feel bad for wrinkling Mrs Winchester's washing even more, before the door knob was squeaking and the sound of footsteps followed. Cas' breath stopped short in his throat, his hands coiled around his legs tight, his nose pressed hard between his knees. He could hear shuffling as Dean poked around the room, presumably checking in the cupboards and behind the door. There was a snap, unusually loud to Cas' ears, then followed by another, similar sound. Castiel assumed that Dean was looking inside the washing machine or the drier, as if Cas could actually _fit_ into one of them.

A tense minute of silence dragged on forever. Castiel's lungs were burning for air, but he didn't want to risk it in the quiet. He waited. Nothing happened.

Then the light flicked off, the door shut closed again and Dean was gone.

Castiel waited one more moment, in case Dean had faked it and was still inside. When his lungs couldn't take it any longer, he allowed himself to gulp down air. It was stale, but a relief nevertheless. His body relaxed again, slouching underneath the pile of clothes. Now it was only a matter of time until Dean returned, but Cas allowed himself to revel in this small victory.

Time passed sluggishly. Castiel's eyes had learned to tell apart fabrics a while ago and now he entertained himself by following different patterns, studying crosses and zig-zags lazily. He idly made note of all the things he'd have to make sure were in his suitcase before leaving tomorrow. Soon, he had to poke a small hole through the creases of clothes in order to find some breathable air. His head had been getting a little dizzy.

The next time he heard footsteps, Cas had no idea how many minutes had passed since Dean left. This time, there was a voice calling his name.

"Cas, come on! Mom says we gotta go eat!" It was Dean.

Was he serious? Did he really have to come out? What if this was a trick to find him more quickly?

Dean had been in here once, Castiel reasoned, and he hadn't spotted him then. His hiding spot was _really_ good.

"What if you're lying?" he risked. A chuckle sounded not too far from the door.

"That's good thinking, but I'm not, I swear," Dean called back. "Pinky promise and all that crap."

Cas stayed quiet regardless.

There was a heavy sigh before Dean said, "Cas, I'm not dicking around. Seriously, get out. Sam's gonna eat all the nuggets."

Castiel knew Sam would never, but he couldn't prevent the small hiccup of laughter escaping. The door opened almost immediately.

Dean took a slow step forward. "Dude, you in here?"

Even if he was lying, Cas decided to come out. It was too stuffy and warm inside the basket, and fresh air triumphed over the possibility of being tricked.

"Yes, I'm here." Cas wriggled around, struggling to find an opening in the maze of washing. When he surfaced, he met Dean's too-green eyes. He looked unmistakably surprised.

"You were in _there?_ The whole freakin' time?" He sounded more impressed than angry. At Castiel's nod, his mouth switched to a lopsided smile. It looked much nicer and more genuine than any of the smirks he ever sent Cas' way. "Nice."

Cas grinned back a little, unsure how to react to Dean's praise. He crawled out of the basket to follow Dean outside, and as they descended down the stairs, he figured, maybe Dean Winchester wasn't a jerk _all_ the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ack I'm sorry this took so long to update! In a poor attempt to make it up to you guys, this one's a little longer than the previous. I'll try to make the next update faster, I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

Streaks of gold light reached in from the window and played across the pages of Castiel'sbook, splaying out as far as the spot on the couch Michael claimed for himself as he did his college coursework. In the corner of his eye, Castiel caught movement of the baseball game on TV, which his sibling kept on mute so he could alternate between working and watching. The quiet between them was comfortable and more than once, Castiel found himself rereading the same sentence a third time after having had dozed off briefly.

A heated whisper of, " _Motherf-_ " had Cas turning to see his big brother glowering resentfully at the strike on the TV screen. Despite the distraction, Michael's hand continued to write on its own as if on automatic. Cas bit his smile back when Michael shook his head like he had been personally offended by the player.

Footsteps sounded from the hall, calling away their attention. Through the archway of the living room, Castiel could see Lucifer stuffing his phone in the back pocket of his jeans, then pulling out his shoes.

"Mike, I'm going out to get one of my tyres fixed. Anything I can get you?" the blond called while he tugged on his sneakers.

"Sure. Chips, or something I can eat without moving," Michael replied offhandedly. "Gabe says we're out of peanut butter, so there's that too."

"Got it." Lucifer turned to his younger brother. "Cas, you need anything?"

Instead of answering the question, Castiel asked, "Can I come with you?"

Lucifer's lips twisted into a bemused smile at the request. He said, "I'm going to the mechanic's, Cassie. Trust me, you'd have more fun talking to a wall."

Truth be told, Cas was getting a little tired of reading, and staying home would be boring. Michael was busy, and even Gabriel had school work to do. Castiel's own homework – although more abundant now that he was in the sixth grade – had been finished a while ago. No, he wanted to go outside.

"I want to come with you," he said finally. Lucifer and Michael looked at each other for a good minute in a way that made them look like they were communicating telepathically, discussing whether or not their eleven-year-old baby brother should be allowed to tag along. It was irritating.

Lucifer shrugged, but it was Michael who answered him. "Just be careful when you're in there, all right? Don't touch anything that's got electricity running through it."

After promising as much, Castiel abandoned his book in favour of getting his shoes on. Once Michael shouted about apples as an addendum to the shopping list, they were out of the house and heading for the carport.

"Seatbelt on?" Lucifer asked once they were in the vehicle, meeting Castiel's eyes through the rear-view mirror. To this, Cas answered in the affirmative.

The ride to the Winchesters' auto repair shop was uneventful all in all, filled with intervals of silence and small-talk. It wasn't John who greeted them when they rolled onto the premises, but Dean.

Once Lucifer's window was rolled down, Dean leaned in and smiled in greeting. "Dad's dealing with some spare parts Bobby hauled in," he explained to him. "But I'm free to take a look at the car. What's up with it?"

"Busted tyre. You got any spares?"  
Dean said that he did and pointed Lu to a spot he could park at, where he'd meet him in a second to change the tyre.

"Staying in or going out?" Lucifer asked Castiel, so he knew whether to keep the air conditioning on or switch off the car altogether.

"Out." Castiel clambered out from the back as Lu did the same from the driver's seat, just a moment before Dean joined them again.

"Hey, Cas. Didn't see you before." Dean grinned once he got a new tyre leaning against the car. "So, what d'you do to it?"

Castiel returned a small smile as Lucifer said, "Fuck if I know. My dad noticed it this morning."

"S'fine, but I'll check if it's time to change the others, then," Dean responded.

"Okay, great." Lucifer looked over his shoulder to the convenience store across the street, then placed his hands on each of Castiel's shoulders. "I gotta go pick up some stuff, can I leave you with the little angel for a while?" he asked, making Dean chuckle. Cas looked up at his brother as Lucifer said to him, "Make sure Winchester doesn't screw up my car, okay?"

A nod from his sibling was enough for Lucifer and when he left, Dean got to work. Castiel remained silent as the other adjusted the radio he'd brought with him to an acceptable station – classic rock, of course. Once the car was supported on the jack, Dean began loosening the nuts on the frame.

Watching him work, Castiel had to concede, was impressive. Only fifteen years old, but already Dean moved like he'd been working with cars as long as his father had. His actions were precise, steady and confident, his hands calloused from experience. The muscles in his arms tensed and relaxed like clockwork, specially defined by the black colour of his t-shirt, hinting at how much he'd grown over the years. Sweat beaded his skin – lining his forehead, making his tee stick to his back.

When green eyes flitted to his own, Castiel flushed at the realization that he'd been staring. It had always been a bad habit of his, one he was trying to break as he'd been told it made others uncomfortable. But Dean didn't look like he minded it. Instead, a crooked smile beamed back at him.

"Gotta admit, I was surprised when I saw you and Lucifer here," Dean started in attempt to strike up a conversation. "Sam said somethin' about your folks keeping you busy today?"

Castiel's heart tripped up. How was it that Sam had mentioned anything regarding him? To Dean, no less? "Oh... He- he did?" He frowned at how his brain refused to come up with something better than _that_.

Too late. The reaction had already snagged Dean's attention, if the quirk of his eyebrow was any indication. "Yeah. You two were supposed to hang out, weren't you?" When Castiel remained silent, Dean set down his lug wrench. "What's up, Cas?" he prodded.

" _Nothing,_ " Castiel retorted. "It's none of your business."

A scowl etched itself in Dean's features. "Fine, brat. Forget it. Christ." He turned back to Lucifer's car, now cranking the jack higher so the tyre was no longer on the ground.

The guilt set in almost immediately. He shouldn't have snapped at Dean, he wasn't the Winchester he was angry at. Hoping an explanation would be an ample apology, he mumbled, "I didn't want to go to the park with Sam." It was even more humiliating when he admitted it out loud. He felt horrible – Sam was his _best friend_. He shouldn't have been feeling the way he did, but he couldn't get himself to stop.

Dean sighed audibly, but twisted around to face to the other. "What happened? You guys got in a fight?" he asked.

"No," Cas said miserably. "He doesn't even know I lied to him."

"Why _did_ you lie?"

There was a split second of silence while Castiel contemplated about confessing the truth to Dean. He wasn't aware of how bitter his words were until he said them. "I didn't want to go with _her_."

"Who?" Dean's nose scrunched up around the name, "Madison?"  
Cas scowled at the mention of Sam's friend – his _girlfriend_. That was all the answer Dean seemed to need.

"You don't like her, huh?" He chuckled, removing the nuts off the wheel. "Why? She's a nice girl."

"She's all right," Castiel allowed, very aware of the jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach. "It's just..." His face burned with shame again and he opted to stare at his hands. Was he really about to admit this to Sam's _brother_ , of all people? "I think Sam's forgetting about me."

" _What?_ " Dean snorted. "Because of Madison?"

"Yes," Castiel insisted.

"Cas, you're takin' this too seriously. There's no way Sam would forget about you, man."

"He could," Castiel dissented. "He _always_ brings her when we hang out. It's never the two of us anymore."

"Look, Cas." Dean grunted as he heaved the damaged tyre off its wheel. "You and Sammy have been friends for ages. Trust me, he's not gonna let you get away that easy. Capiche?"

Castiel heaved a resigned sigh. "I capiche."

"But _-_ " Castiel didn't like the sound of that. "-Madison's his first girlfriend. Kid's bound to be all over her. That's what boys _do_. It'll wear off after a while, don't worry. In the mean time, try not to be too hard on her, okay?"

"Fine." A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth, but Cas helped Dean roll the new tyre closer all the same. "Thanks. I think."

Dean's eyes darted to Castiel's before his attention went back to tightening the nuts onto the wheel. "Don't mention it."

Castiel was about to let the conversation bleed back into silence, but Dean perked up at the first strums of an electric guitar, and the solo of said instrument that followed. His face broke into a lip-splitting grin as he jerked his chin at the blaring radio.

" _Dude_ , turn it up, will you?" he instructed to Cas.

Castiel did as he was told, squinting curiously while he attempted to understand the words being screeched. "What is this?" he wondered, a little disdainful.

He didn't expect Dean to look up at him with wide eyes. "Don't you know AC/DC?"

"Should I?" Castiel's brow furrowed.

"Cas," Dean said fervently, "they're one of the greatest hard rock bands _in history_."

The other spared the radio a dubious glance before answering, "Okay."

Apparently it was an insufficient answer, because Dean momentarily abandoned his work with the jack. "C'mon, you can't _not_ like this song," he insisted, stretching out to turn up the volume and causing his shirt to ride up his back a little. " _Back in Black_ – it's a classic."

Castiel listened for a moment, then to the expectant raise of Dean's eyebrows, he said, "It's... interesting."

"That's a fancy way of sayin' you hate it," Dean accused, but his grin indicated that he wasn't angry.

"I don't _hate_ it," Castiel corrected, "I just don't like it. Can we leave it at that?"

Dean nodded, and the two ended up talking about other personal interests as they waited for Castiel's brother to come back. Castiel sat on the hood of Lucifer's car while Dean leaned against it's frame not too far from him.

"Asses _off_ the car," Lucifer warned when he approached with two plastic bags in his arms. "Any trouble?" he asked.

"Nope, all other tyres are fine. Must'a pierced it with something," Dean answered.

Cas slid down to help his sibling load the groceries into the trunk. Lu muttered a thanks, before telling Dean, "Thanks. You notice anything else?"

Dean crossed his arms. "Yeah. Found out Cas doesn't like AC/DC."

Lucifer pulled an over-exaggerated grimace. "That's the Mikey side of him."

Castiel made no attempt in hiding his eye-roll and the rest of Dean and Lucifer's discussion about the aforementioned band was promptly tuned out.

* * *

Castiel tried hard to follow Dean's advice. He really did. And it had worked too – each time Sam all but waxed poetry about Madison, Cas smiled and nodded like he was listening, and whenever Sam had to decline Cas' offers to come over because "Madison _just_ called me," he pretended that it was no big deal. All in all, the system functioned. For the sake of their friendship, Cas endured it, even if it left him feeling like he'd been punched in the heart.

But being nice to Madison was proving to be difficult when she was actually _with_ him. Or rather – them.

It took all of Cas' strength and devotion to Sam to internalize his scornful look as he watched Madison teeter with giggles at whatever the other had said. He wished he didn't have to go to this birthday party. Jo was a friend of the Winchesters. Castiel only knew her through school, where she was one grade below him and Sam. Besides, if Sam would be bouncing around Madison all the time like Castiel expected, it meant that he'd be by himself. Other than Sam, he didn't have any friends. He was in for an afternoon of boredom.

"Hey, quit it with the glare of doom." Castiel looked up to see Dean towering over him, his long strides in a steady pace with Cas' steps. "You're gonna burn holes into their backs," he teased, nodding in the pair's direction.

Castiel didn't even have the will to respond to the joke. Dean caught on quickly, regarding him with a look too similar to pity. Cas didn't like it. He was in a bad enough mood already and he didn't need Dean's _pity_ to feel worse.

"Cas, you wanna get out of this? You can say you're gonna be sick," Dean suggested in a whisper while Sam rang the Harvelles' doorbell. "We can chill at my house and play video games, if you like."

Despite his previous anger, Dean's offer made Cas smile. Even though he knew Dean would spend most of the time knocking Cas off of the Rainbow Road in _Mario Kart_ ,it sounded much more appealing than Jo's party. But...

"I'm already here." Cas shook his head. "And she invited me. It would be rude to leave."

"Fine, but you got my number if the cheese sticks get you queasy, right?" He grinned slyly, looking up just as Jo's mother Ellen opened the door.

Mrs Harvelle ushered them in with a pat on the shoulder, taking the offered gift bags and only stopping to look at Dean in surprise. "Dean! I didn't expect to see you. What are you doing here?"

"I'm just here to drop them off and say hi to the birthday girl," Dean answered at the same time a shrill, " _Dean's_ here?!" was heard. It could have only come from Jo.

The girl pushed past Madison, Sam and Cas in succession like they were not even there. Sam shot Cas a knowing look – _everyone_ knew Jo had a crush on Dean, except Dean himself.

"Hey, Dean," Jo greeted after letting her mother pass to the interior of the house with the presents. "Are you here to stay?"

"Nah, just came to tell you happy birthday," he said in return, oblivious to the way Jo's face fell a little.

However, she covered it up heroically with a smile and an easy, "Thanks."

Clapping his hands, Dean looked back to the other three. "Okay, I'll be back to pick you up around four. Have fun." He gave a particularly meaningful look to Castiel as he spoke.

"Bye, Dean," was all Sam said to his brother before he scurried away alongside Madison. Castiel parted with a more substantial farewell, then followed Jo to the heart of the party.

"There's snacks and drinks on the table outside," Jo told him, though she seemed a bit more dejected now that Dean was gone. "You can stay inside or go out, it's your choice. But once everyone gets here, we'll be playing games in the backyard." She gave him a minute to nod in understanding, and then she was gone.

Immediately, Castiel knew he'd be staying in. For one, it was much cooler there than in the sizzling sun outside. There was also much less people inside, which meant he would be left alone unless it was absolutely necessary for him to participate. It would make him look antisocial, which was fine, considering that he wouldn't know what to say to someone who wasn't a brother or a Winchester anyway. He was content in staying put until they could go home. More than once he considered texting Dean, but decided against it. He said he'd stay, if he gave Dean the idea that he was bored, he would insist on picking him up. Cas didn't want to cut short Sam's fun any more than he wanted to inconvenience Dean by having him drive out here twice.

Speaking of Sam, where had he gone? A brief glance established that he was by the snack table, accompanied by Madison of course, happily listening and nodding along and-

And walking right towards him. Why was Sam coming to him?

Sam handed him a plastic red cup filled with what looked like apple juice. "Cas, they were out of orange," he informed him like he'd been part of the conversation all along. The little gesture that implied Sam had initially looked for orange juice – Cas' favourite – made his heart squeeze warmly, however insignificant it might have actually been.

"It's no problem. Thanks," Cas said instead.

"Hey, Cas." He looked up in surprise when Madison addressed him. " _Please_ tell me you think the original _Star Wars_ rules over the sequel. Sam's insisting it's the other way around." She looked at Sam with feigned disappointment.

Cas shot her a grin before answering, "One of his few flaws, actually. It's because he likes Natalie Portman."

"It's not _just_ that!" Sam laughed. And when he launched into his in-depth analysis of the sequel trilogy, it was hard to remember why Castiel had been unhappy today.

Madison turned out to be surprisingly _nice_ (Castiel could practically see Dean's smug face and his unspoken _told you so_ ). She had much of the same interests as Sam, and in turn Castiel. Movies faded into books, and books into school, until Jo had to force them to come outside and play with the other children. The entire ordeal passed much more pleasantly than Castiel had expected. By the time the cake had been set out and shared around, a cheery tingle settled in Cas' stomach as he and Sam munched on their respective slices side by side. Then when one of Madison's friends found her and dragged her away, promising to return her shortly, Cas saw his moment.

"Sam." He waited until most of Sam's attention was on him rather than the cake, then said, "Um, I want to apologize."

Sam's hazel eyes went wide and he worried his lip between his teeth. "What for, Cas?"

"We haven't been hanging out so much lately, and that's my fault." Cas swallowed down the brick lodged in his throat, determined to get rid of the guilt and go back to being completely truthful to Sam. "I was selfish... and jealous. Of Madison, because she was with you all the time. I wasn't supportive and I didn't act like a good friend, I'm sorry." He looked from beneath his eyelashes for any sign of anger in his friend.

He found none. In fact, Sam was smiling at him bemusedly. "That's what was bothering you? I couldn't tell why you were upset, but I knew something was up. Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I don't know," Cas admitted sheepishly. "In the future, I'll refrain from begrudging your girlfriend, I promise."

The way Sam's face lit up as he shook with a breathy laugh made Cas' heart start up all over again. "Thanks, Cas. I appreciate it. Next time, just tell me, okay?"

Later that evening, when Jo and Mrs Harvelle were thanking them for coming, Cas spotted Dean across the street, leaning against his Chevrolet Impala, his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. After checking left and right for any cars, the three of them crossed the road side by side, Sam in between Madison and Cas. Sam was instantly telling his brother all about the party's highlights, with Madison corroborating the story. Although Dean hummed in understanding as he unlocked the car, he kept eye contact with Cas, lifting his eyebrows a little as if to pose a question. Knowing exactly what he was asking, Castiel grinned wide and faintly nodded back. All Dean managed to do was return his smile with a wink, before having to turn around and defend himself from Sam's accusations of not listening.

* * *

"Hey, baby brother! You guys doing anything interesting?" Gabriel chirped, barging into Cas' room and effectively cutting of his story about the time an eight-year-old Lucifer called their uncle Zachariah a 'mean old lady'.

Castiel shrugged as he watched his brother cross the room to the desk chair. Two steps behind him was Dean, who settled down on the floor with his back pressed against Castiel's bed, where the two twelve-year-olds currently sat. "Nothing in particular, Gabriel," Cas replied to his sibling's original question.

"I thought you guys were helping Michael and Lucifer with the grill," Sam said.

"Yeah, but Mikey decided that the barbecue would be going faster if there was less yelling and more of the _actual_ grilling," Gabriel explained with an impish smirk. "So we came up here instead. I repeat, what are you doing?"

"Not much, really," Sam answered after sharing a brief look with Cas. "Just talking."

"Boring!" Gabriel decided, louder than necessary. "My counter-offer: Truth or Dare."

Castiel groaned, but to his displeasure, he noticed the way Dean and Sam sat up slightly. "Gabe, no. I don't want to play Truth or Dare with you," he said.

Gabriel's face fell as he fixed his brother with a wide-eyed stare. "What, why?" he whined.

"You _always_ make it embarrassing," Cas insisted, aware of the way Dean and Sam followed their exchange like a tennis match.

" _Duh_ , that's the point," Gabriel countered. When Castiel frowned at him, he sighed melodramatically, then shouted in a rush, "If you wanna play Truth or Dare, raise your hands!"

When three hands shot up, Castiel's frown deepened. Sam, at least, had the decency to smile sheepishly at him. "Sorry, Cas."

"Three to one, Cassie, you can't fight the facts!" Gabriel told him. "Get your butts on the floor so we can start. Got a bottle in here?"

"I bought soda on the way here," Sam offered, then stepped off the bed to rummage through his backpack. He returned with an almost-empty bottle of Sprite, which Gabriel finished off when it was handed to him.

While everyone found a place on the ground, Castiel said to his brother, "If we're playing, then we're following the rules."

"The usual?" Gabriel responded.

Cas nodded, but Dean asked, "What's the usual?"

"Nothing illegal, nothing that may result in bodily harm, no nudity," the two listed in unison. "Michael's idea," Gabriel grumbled in addition, to which Castiel said, "He had to. Gabriel was getting increasingly more and more creative as he got older."

And after that, Gabriel wasted no time in taking up the first spin. "Deano! Truth or dare?" he asked once the bottle stopped.

Dean took one look at his mischievous grin and wryly answered, "Truth."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, but said nothing other than, "Which of our teachers would you date?"

Castiel sighed in exasperation and Sam put in a brief, "Ew."

On the other hand, Dean considered the question, humming softly as he chewed on his lip. "Mrs Millers," he decided, but quickly held his hand out, gesturing to stop. "Oh, or Mr Anderson from my Spanish class."

The answer surprised Cas and he blurted without thinking, "But Mr Anderson is a man."

Dean's eyes honed on him, expression stony and lips thin. "Yeah. So what?"

Cringing at his poor choice of words, Cas was suddenly too aware of the fact that he was being stared at. A hot flush washed over his entire face, leaving his ears tingling. "N- No! Not like that. It's just- You've only dated girls." He _really_ wasn't making the best of this situation. Even Gabriel seemed to be wincing from second-hand embarrassment. "It was a stupid thing to assume, sorry."

It was a giant relief to see Dean's face soften. "S'fine, Cas. Don't worry about it." He cleared his throat a little, then said, "My turn to spin, right?"

The atmosphere in the room became lively again when Dean dared Sam to shove as many ice cubes in his mouth as possible. So the four of them tramped back downstairs where the kitchen was, then stood huddled around the sink while Sam began knocking ice out of the moulds. The final result was four cubes, a pair of particularly blue lips and a very worried Mr Novak, who had come in for another beer.

"Cas," Sam said once they were back in his bedroom. He still kept his hands firmly pressed against his cheeks in attempt to warm his mouth again. "Truth or dare?" When Castiel answered the former, Sam asked, "Which superpower do you wish you had?"

Castiel took a moment to consider, then replied, "Invisibility."

"Reason?" Dean prompted.

"I want to sneak into ice cream parlours and eat all the ice cream," Castiel said without hesitation. Watching Dean's shoulders shake with laughter while he snorted into his hands made Cas feel strangely pleased.

"Good one, Cas. Truly, you're a master of evil," Gabriel teased, softly pushing his brother's shoulder with his own.

"Can we keep going?" Cas asked. His spin had ended up landing on Dean and he stopped for a second to think of a good dare for the blond's choice. "You have to hug the next person that walks into the room and refuse to let go. And it can't be one of us."

"Oh my God, are you serious?" Dean said. "You're serious- Fine, _fine_. I'm not forgetting this, Cas."

"A dare is a dare," Castiel stressed, grinning.

Two more rounds followed without much incident, namely being Gabriel accepting Dean's dare to peel a banana without using his hands (it was a disaster) and Sam awkwardly admitting to the time Bobby Singer saw him naked when he was eight.

"It was an accident!" he emphasized when Gabriel doubled over, laughing into the parquet. Castiel, fulfilling his role of the best friend, restrained himself to muffled chuckles. "I didn't know he was in the house. I was showering and I forgot to get a change of clothes." He moved to spin the bottle again, shoving Dean when he wouldn't "shut _up,_ " but there was a smile on his face. The round fell on Castiel again.

This time, Cas changed his answer. "Dare."

"Close your eyes and feel another player's face. Try to guess who it is by touch alone," Sam told him.

So they agreed that touching was restricted to the face only, since the hair would give it away, and that Cas would spin around first so he wouldn't know who sat where.

"Stop laughing, you'll spoil it," Castiel warned as he attempted to find balance. He blindly made his way back to the group, weaving his way around so he could sit in the middle of the circle. Then he reached out for the first face his hands could find.

Careful not to move too close to the hairline, Cas deftly moved his fingers over smooth skin, followed along a defined jaw. He moved higher, softly pressing against the bow of a pair of lips and smiling when breath tickled his knuckles. As his thumbs traced the sharp curves of the cheekbones, the arch of the nose, the confidence in his guess grew more and more. When he felt crinkles under the pads of his fingers, an image of a wide grin and bright green eyes flitted into mind.

He squeezed his eyes shut extra tight to make sure, then murmured, "Dean?" He didn't wait for an answer before he took a look. Green eyes stared back at him.

"Nice work," Dean responded. His gaze moved from Cas' down to the boy's hands. Which were still touching his face. Right.

Castiel pulled away quickly, fingers flexing slightly. Without looking back at Dean, he spun the bottle to start the game up again. It had gone unusually quiet between them. "Gabe, truth or dare?" he asked.

"Dare," Gabriel replied instantly, though he was still looking from Dean to Cas.

"Uh... Stand on one leg for thirty seconds while someone tries to push you over."

Dean volunteered immediately. "I'll push him."

Laughter filled the room again soon after when Gabriel hopped around on his right foot, simultaneously trying to find balance and stay away from Dean. As he counted, his left leg flailed around with every push and more than once, it narrowly touched the ground.

"Twenty seven!" His voice wobbled along with the rest of his body. After a colourful swear directed at Dean, he hurriedly added, "Twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty! I'm done!" before he collapsed on the floor after one final effort from Dean. "Asshat."

"You're the one who was cheating," Dean disagreed, wearing an amused smile. "You know how long a second lasts?"

Before Gabriel could fight for his honour, the doorknob jiggled and in came Lucifer. "Hey, lunch's ready and we gotta make the table."

Gabriel poked Dean's shoulder and wiggled his eyebrows meaningfully. Lucifer had a second to narrow his eyes at his brother's antics before Dean sighed and pulled the seventeen-year-old in for a hug.

"Whoa, hey-" Laughter broke out all over again as Lucifer attempted to push Dean off. "Yeah, okay- Thanks for that, you can let go now."

"Can't," Dean muttered back, glaring when Gabriel was reduced to wheezing for breath.

"Dean- You know what, I'm not even gonna ask. Come on down and eat." He patted the other back before manoeuvring him out of the room. "Seriously, we will _kill_ ourselves if we try going down the stairs."

Castiel called out, "You can let go, Dean," much to Gabriel's displeasure. His brother muttered something about spoilsports before hopping down after Lucifer, who had already began his descent. Sam followed, and soon Cas was left to leisurely climb down alongside Dean.

"Hey, I brought one of my AC/DC tapes and my Walkman. I'm gonna play you some more songs after we eat, all right?" Dean said.

"I doubt my opinion will change, Dean."

"C'mon, you can't judge after just one song. I'll prove it. After that dare, you owe me, anyway."

Castiel laughed, but nodded anyway. "All right. I'll listen," he promised, before bracing himself for the onslaught of raised voices that sounded from the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna have to go AWOL again, I'm going out of the country and I won't have internet for a little bit. But expect the next update to be around next weekend! I'll try my best to get the chapter ready by then. Thanks to all who for being patient with the sporadic updates. You guys rock.


	4. Chapter 4

Shivering, Castiel pressed his nose into the warmth of his scarf, away from the nipping breeze. His hands were burrowed deeply into his pockets in attempt start up blood flow again, because despite the gloves he made sure to take before heading out, he felt as if his fists had frozen solid.

"Cas!"

Castiel temporarily forgot how his nose was about to break off and cheered up slightly at the sound of his name. He followed the direction of the call to see Sam jogging towards him with his hair bouncing enthusiastically beneath his beanie, uneven breath escaping as puffs of steam. Much like Castiel, his cheeks and ears were tipped a pale shade of pink, but the smile remained on his face regardless.

However, all the joy Sam's presence had brought Castiel was dampened at the sight of his companion.

"Sorry you had to wait. We had to run back to Ruby's for a second 'cause she forgot her gloves," Sam explained, nodding to the short brunette beside him. "Have you been here long?"

"No. I came a few minutes before you did." Castiel added politely to Sam's girlfriend, "Hello, Ruby."

Ruby gave him one of her customary catty grins. "Hey, Cas."

"How about we go inside and get something warm to drink? The movie doesn't start in another... thirty minutes, right?" Sam said after he consulted his watch.

"Sounds good," Ruby responded, and though Castiel wouldn't have thought it possible, pressed up against Sam's arm even further.

"Great," Castiel said with more enthusiasm than he actually felt.

The following half-hour passed in a flurry of hot chocolate and chatter, topped off with a hasty purchase of popcorn and a run to the theatre after an over-extended bathroom stop. The projection had already started upon entering, but luckily the commercials provided sufficient amount of light for them to track down their seats. Sam sat between Castiel and Ruby, though the latter hogged most of the Winchester to her side.

Although primarily occupied with keeping track of the amount of popcorn eaten in order to have enough for the actual film, Castiel could still hear Ruby comment none too quietly – and politely – to Sam about the commercial momentarily playing. More than once did she receive shushes from surrounding members of the audience, to which her replies were as sarcastic as Sam's apologies were constant. For the most part, Cas tried to pretend he was part of the furniture by sinking down as far as his seat allowed, pitying his best friend.

It was escapades like this that made Cas find Ruby unfit to be Sam's girlfriend. How _Sam_ couldn't see that was a mystery. And this wasn't Cas overreacting like he did two years ago with Madison. In fact, he actually got on well with all of Sam's girlfriends that followed her – or at least as well as a person with his social skills could. However, Ruby was not on this list. She was wild, brash and impulsive. She skipped class often, and Castiel wouldn't normally care about this – he wasn't interested in the way others treated their education – but she'd gotten _Sam_ to do it too on several occasions, one of which landed them both in detention.

The problem in all of this was that Sam remained blissfully ignorant of his significant other's behaviour, as Cas had found out the Saturday afternoon following their trip to the cinema. While Sam prepared a new file of _Dragon Age: Origins_ on Cas' PlayStation _,_ Castiel pondered on the best way to approach the subject. He waited until they were done with customizing their character, then ignored the cut scene (they both knew the gist of it anyway) in favour of asking,

"Did you enjoy the movie we watched yesterday?"

Sam gave a sort of half-shrug, half-gesticulation with his hand. "It was okay, I kinda expected it to be better."

Castiel nodded in agreement, before saying in what he hoped was nonchalance, "And the company? Was it... nice?"

When Sam turned to look at him fully, Cas knew he was caught. The other regarded him with a bemused frown. "You're terrible at small-talk, Cas. What's up?" Sam chuckled.

"Fine. I was just wondering whether you liked spending time with Ruby." Castiel huffed in defeat.

Sam picked up his controller and got ready to start the game, but made it clear he was still following the conversation by nodding. "Yeah, she's great. She's really funny. And hot."

Cas snorted, rolling his eyes. "You sound like your brother." There was a pause in conversation as they laughed, Sam simultaneously shoving Cas and fighting off enemies. "I just want to know," Castiel went on, "are you dating her?"

Sam's face scrunched up as his character took a blow to the back. "Well, we've been going out for like, a week and a half? I think it's official."

He really hoped it wasn't, but Castiel wouldn't know. Sam was the one with more experience under his belt.

Cas cleared his throat a little. "Don't you think she's a little... energetic?"

Sam looked at him from the corner of his eye. "Sort of, I guess, but that's just part of her personality. I kinda like it, don't you?"

Castiel wasn't planning on lying. He really wasn't. But one look at Sam's face, eager to have his best friend's consent, and the only thing that came out was, "Yeah, definitely."

He left it at that. Sam's attention turned back to the game and Cas did his best to follow, but he couldn't ignore the burning shame of guilt that settled in his chest.

So Castiel called the Winchesters' home phone at three the next day, when he knew Sam was out with his mother for groceries. After three rings, Cas heard a deep-voiced, _"Yeah?"_

"Dean?" Cas said.

" _Hey! You just missed Sam, man. He went out with Mom-"_

"No, I know," Castiel interrupted. "I need to talk to you."

" _Me?"_

Refraining from rolling his eyes, the thirteen-year-old answered, "Yes, are you busy?"

" _Uh..."_ A momentary pause. _"No, I'm free for a minute. Shoot."_

Keeping the time given to him in mind, Cas got straight to the point. "I don't like Ruby."

" _Dude, seriously?"_ Cas braced himself for a lecture on respecting Sam's opinions and how they "already went through this, Cas" and started on counter-arguments when he heard the last thing he expected Dean to say: _"Me neither."_

Castiel blinked. "Really?"

" _She's bad news. Mom thinks so too."_

" _Really?"_ Cas repeated in surprise, although he felt bad that they were conspiring against Sam like this.

" _Heh, yeah. Sam brought her over for lunch last week. None of us were really wowed, to be honest."_

As pleasing as this information was, Castiel admitted dejectedly, "I don't know what to do, Dean. Sam likes her a lot. I don't think he sees any of her faults."

" _Thanks, Sherlock, I figured as much. He won't stop yapping about her."_

"I'm being serious, Dean."

" _I don't know what to tell you, Cas! Like I said, Mom talked to him a little, but it didn't make much of a difference. Sammy's stubborn that way. Have you mentioned anything to him?"_

"...I was going to, but I chickened out," Cas said in a rush.

Dean's bark of laughter tickled Castiel's ears in a way that was sort of pleasant. _"_ _Okay, but try again, will you? He'll listen. Your opinion means a lot to him, y'know."_

He was sure Dean meant it as a compliment, but his words only left Castiel feeling guiltier than before. "Thanks."

" _Sure. Are you-"_ Whatever Dean had intended to say was cut off by a female voice calling out his name. Castiel didn't recognize it. _"Hold on a sec, Cas_." The Novak didn't have a chance to reply, but he heard a ruffle over the mouth piece and assumed that Dean had placed a hand over it. Despite this, he still managed to hear a muffled, _"Yeah, Lisa?"_

Castiel waited somewhat awkwardly on his end, flushing a little at the realization that Dean had someone over. He politely held the earpiece at a distance to minimize eavesdropping until he heard the other's voice again.

" _Hey, Cas? I'm gonna have to go. You got this?"_

"I think so. Thanks again."

" _No problem. I'll see ya."_

"Bye, Dean."

Castiel set his cell phone back on his desk, going over Dean's advice once again. In the end, he decided he'd talk to Sam on Monday after school. They were meeting at the Winchesters' again for homework and preps for a quiz due on Wednesday. He'd tell him the truth and they'd work their way through it from there. He could do this. Probably.

* * *

He couldn't do this.

But he _had_ to.

But _why?_

Because Ruby would only get Sam into more trouble.

"Cas? Everything okay?"

In the future, it would be wise to refrain from mentally arguing with one's conscience in public, especially if it leaves you standing on the pavement without reason beside an understandably confused best friend.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Castiel finally answered as he began to walk again. It was somewhat warmer today, even a bit sunnier, but the exercise was still necessary to keep the chill from seeping into his bones. Sam fell into step with him quickly, but still regarded him with doubt.

"You sure? You're not feeling sick or anything, are you?" the other asked. "Because Dean can drive you home if you are. He won't mind."

Castiel smiled at his friend. Sam was incredible, always putting others before him. It was one of the many reasons why Cas adored him. And now he felt worse than ever, because he knew that the truth would hurt Sam. He hated that. But...

Castiel stopped again. "There is something, actually. That I, um, have to tell you." He was doing it for Sam's own good.

If only Sam would stop _looking_ at him with those big, hazel eyes, it would make this much easier.

"Sure, what is it?"

Just do it fast. Like ripping off a band-aid.

"Sam, I think Ruby isn't a good girlfriend for you, and that you two should break up."

In hindsight, maybe Cas should have eased him into it first, if the way Sam's face twisted with shock was any indication.

Oh, no.

"I mean, I just don't think she's right for you, Sam. You're so kind and friendly, and she's..."

"Not?" Sam finished hesitantly.

"Well, yes."

Castiel tried not to take note of the way Sam's frown grew deeper and deeper. "So, you don't like her? Is that it?"

The words felt like lead on his tongue, but Castiel said firmly, "No, I do not."

He watched as Sam's face contorted from hurt to anger. Oh, no, no, _no_.

"Meaning you lied when you said you liked her." It wasn't a question. Sam's tone was ice cold, it made Cas' chest constrict painfully.

Castiel swallowed the brick in his throat and answered anyway. "Yes, I did and I'm sorry."

"What the hell, Cas? I thought you were supposed to be my friend," Sam snapped.

Now Castiel felt this was a bit over-dramatic. Somewhat defensively, he responded, "Sam, I don't understand. I can't like every person you date, I'm sorry you feel that I do."

"I don't care about that!" Sam retorted. "I care that you lied. Friends don't _do_ that. We're supposed to be honest with each other."

Sam's words felt like a bucket of freezing water over the head. Shame washed over Cas, he could feel the back of his neck burn red.

"Sam..." What? What could he say to make this better? _I'm sorry_ seemed utterly meaningless. He betrayed Sam's trust. What could _possibly_ excuse that?

It didn't matter anyway. Sam wasn't intending on giving him a chance to finish.

"Forget it."

And he was gone. So Cas turned around and left too.

* * *

They didn't see each other for the rest of the week.

Schoolwork kept Castiel's mind occupied, but it was a poor replacement for Sam's friendship. Books and TV were useless distractions because they only left Cas with the need to retell the story to his best friend. And while Castiel loved all three of his big brothers, talking to them just was not the same as talking to Sam.

For the first time in a really long while, Castiel didn't look forward to going to school. Not when he knew that Sam would be ignoring him the entire time. They didn't even spend lunch together anymore; Sam moved to sit with Ruby and her friends, while Cas remained with their mutual acquaintances, but he didn't make an effort to talk to any of them. And when the dismissal bell rang at the end of his last period on Friday, Castiel was relieved to be able to get away and hide beneath his blankets all weekend.

His plan was foiled first thing on Saturday morning when he was forced out of his pillow fort in order to get his cell phone from his desk. Vaguely registering the time as ten-thirty, Castiel answered.

"H'llo?" he murmured, sluggishly rubbing an eye.

" _What the hell's going on? You didn't come over on Monday like you were supposed to, and I haven't seen you around since."_

"Hello, Dean."

" _What happened, Cas? Sam's not talkin'."_

"I told him the truth," Cas replied, sighing in defeat as he vaguely listed through the pornographic magazine Gabriel had given him in attempt to cheer him up. He pushed it away in distaste as Dean went on.

" _You mean about Ruby? What did he say?"_

"He became furious because I lied," Cas explained monotonously. He really didn't feel like having this conversation again. "I did it to make him happy, but he's right. I should have told him the truth the first time he asked."

" _Yeah, well, Sam's big on honesty. He's annoying that way."_

"You aren't helping, Dean." There was a pause during which neither spoke. Castiel listened to Dean's even breaths, and he started mirroring the rhythm with his own. It was soothing, in a way. "I have no idea how to fix this. I feel awful."

" _Did you call him?"_

"To say what?"

" _How about apologizing for a start? Think he'd appreciate that?"_

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose, contemplating whether or not it was worth it to hang up and go back to sleep. He decided against it, because he didn't need to piss off another Winchester. Dean was only trying to help, however sarcastic he may be. "Sorry just isn't enough, Dean. I should... I don't know, explain my actions, then beg for forgiveness."

" _Do what you gotta,"_ Dean told him. _"Just_ do it, _man. I can't take any more of Sam's pathetic moping."_

The information made him feel a bit better. Maybe there was hope after all. Castiel chewed on his lip thoughtfully, then asked, "Are you guys busy today?"

" _Nah, I'm just gonna head on over to Dad's shop in a bit. You thinkin' of coming over?"_

Cracking a sight smile, Cas responded, "Obviously."

" _Good. I'm sorry I'll miss you, though. Don't forget to grovel when you get there, okay?"_

"I'll keep that in mind," Cas snorted.

When Dean hung up, Castiel was dressed with his phone and keys in his pockets and out the door in ten minutes. It took him 15 minutes to get to the Winchesters' by bike, the duration of which was spent practising his apology over and over again. He propped up his bicycle beside Sam's, at the same time noticing that there was no Chevrolet Impala parked in the driveway, meaning Dean had already left after his father.

His heart pounded against his ribs as Castiel pressed the doorbell, and he didn't even realize the door was opening until he was staring right into Sam's bitch-face.

"Hello," Castiel said.

"Hello." Sam's response was the same, although somewhat lacking in warmth.

An awkward pause followed.

"Are you busy?"

"No."

"...May I come in?"

For a second, Cas was scared Sam would reply in the negative, but instead, the other turned to walk further into the hall, leaving the door open. Cas followed him hesitantly, then got to unlacing his sneakers and promptly toeing them off. Sam kept up the uncomfortable silence until they were upstairs in his room, the former settling on his bed with his arms crossed and Castiel across him.

Cas rubbed one knuckle with his palm. Sam wiggled his nose and coughed.

"Um, I came to apologize."

"Okay. I'm listening."

Shifting a little and clearing his throat, Cas started. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth about my opinion of Ruby. I didn't want to hurt your feelings because you seem to like her very much. I thought I'd be a bad friend if I didn't support your relationship, but lying about it didn't make me any better either." He took a second to breathe and blink a few times. "I'm sorry I lied, Sam. I really am. Your trust means a lot to me, and taking it for granted like that wasn't right. I _promise_ I won't do it again."

Sam's face remained an unreadable mask for a moment, until he asked amusedly, "Did you rehearse your apology?"

"A little. I wanted it to be good."

Sam bit into his lip. "It was. Thanks, Cas."

"Does that mean we're friends again?" Castiel asked.

Hearing Sam's laugh again was wonderful, especially after being deprived of it for a week. Then he nodded and pulled the other into a hug. Cas felt a little childish – they were _thirteen_ , after all – but Sam was much bigger than him, all gangly limbs and huge torso, so he was snugly engulfed into it.

"Come on," Sam said, letting go and hopping off the bed, "let's go play _Assassin's Creed III_. I can _not_ get past sequence two."

* * *

By Monday, things were back to normal. When Castiel went to get books out of his locker before sixth period, Sam was already there to greet him, leaning against a nearby locker door with one shoulder and holding his bag up on the other.

"So get this," he said after Cas greeted him, "I was talking to Ruby and apparently her friend, Meg – you know her, right?"

Nodding, Castiel thought to the sassy brunette he'd once been partnered with for labwork.

"Yeah, so Ruby says that Meg's got a crush on you, and-"

" _What?"_ Castiel's brow furrowed. "Sam, I don't believe that."

"But Ruby says she definitely does, Cas! Anyway, I was thinking since Ruby and I were going for pizza on Thursday, maybe you can come along with Meg? Like a double date?"

Honestly, Castiel only had a conversation with Meg once – and it was mostly about the work they were doing in class. She was nice, underneath her coarse nature and all the sarcasm, but he didn't really see her as his friend, much less someone he'd _date_.

But on the other hand, he'd just made up with Sam, and he didn't want to mess it up again. And although Sam's grin was huge as he spoke, it was obvious it was still a little awkward for him to talk about Ruby with him, and Cas was determined to fix that. He wanted his best friend to be able to talk to him about his relationships openly, knowing he had Cas' full support.

"Sure," he said eventually. "I don't know if it should count as a date, but we can go as friends and see what happens?"

The answer seemed to work fine with Sam. "Awesome. Okay, you and I can meet up at your place at six thirty-ish? Ruby says she and Meg can meet us at the restaurant."

* * *

Castiel's Friday afternoon was supposed to be spent hanging out with Sam, but due to a call from the latter involving an unfinished science project, an accident involving an abundance of glitter and a fast-approaching deadline, Dean suggested that he and Cas visit the park while Sam stayed at his lab partner's house an extra half-hour, with the plan of returning to the Winchester home afterwards. That was how Castiel ended up pushing a 153-pound seventeen-year-old on a swing that was entirely too small for him.

"Dude, push harder. I'm barely moving here."

Castiel rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. "How old are you again?" he asked, grunting as he pushed Dean again. This time, the swing travelled a larger distance, before easily sliding back towards him. "Twelve, was it?"

"Hilarious, Cas," Dean countered, but flashed a grin over his shoulder. He brought himself to a skidding stop, then hogged the neighbouring swing and offered it to Castiel.

Cas accepted it with a thank-you, fishing out his phone when he heard a text arrive. As Dean got to twirling himself left and right, he opened the message and quickly scanned through it. "Sam says he'll be another five minutes, then he's heading home," he announced.

"Everything's okay with you two, then?" Dean asked.

"Yes. I'm not really happy about Sam still dating Ruby, but I'll let him deal with it. I'm done with meddling, I'll just stick around to keep him out of trouble," Cas said with a grin. "And to say, 'I told you so'."

Dean chuckled. "Good. Hey, how'd the date go yesterday? Sammy told me about it, said you guys had fun."

"It was pleasant," Cas said. "Sam really enjoyed himself. I'm glad about that."

Dean gave him a lopsided smile. "Not askin' about Sammy, I'm askin' about you, man."

"Oh," was Castiel's intelligent response. "I had a good time too. Meg had some... interesting topics to discuss."

"I'll bet."

Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Castiel said, "But it wasn't really a date."

"Meg not the right girl for you?" Dean teased.

"I don't think any girl is." It came out without Cas planning it to. His face tingled a little as he became very aware of Dean's halt in movement and curious stare. "I... I've never liked girls that way," Cas explained, scratching the side of his neck as his eyes flitted to and from Dean's.

Dean sat up straighter as he took in Cas' body language. "Hey, man. You know that I'm cool with you being whatever way you are, right?"

"No, I know, I just." Cas shrugged, attempting a smile. "Never really admitted it outside my family, I think."

"Yeah, well. If you ever need to talk..." Dean made a small gesture at himself. "Talk."

Knowing that Dean was offering his support, was willing to _talk_ to him, even though he avoided discussing feelings as a rule, well. It made something akin to admiration stir deep in Cas' stomach.

"Thank you." It didn't nearly sum up what he felt at the moment, but Dean seemed to get it.

They settled into a comfortable silence after that. Admittedly, Castiel was staring at the blond longer than strictly necessary, but then again, Dean was doing the same. It could have gone on for a minute or even five, he wasn't sure. It wasn't until the ringtone of his phone shook him from his reverie and made him blink away.

" _Where the heck_ are _you guys? I'm at home."_ Sam's voice sounded over the phone.

"In the park, we'll be there in three minutes," Castiel assured him, getting up from the swing and gesturing that Dean should do the same. "Don't you dare start playing without me. I worked hard to get us past that second sequence." With one inquiringly raised eyebrow, Dean jerked his head in the direction of the exit and Castiel nodded.

" _Get here in a_ minute _and I won't,"_ Sam teased, promptly hanging up.

Castiel barely had enough time to gasp indignantly, grab Dean's wrist and run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *updates a week late with no Starbucks* I am so sorry, guys. I know I promised to get this up sooner, but it's been a hectic few days and stuff has only just started to calm down.
> 
> Honestly, this chapter might be a little choppy and not up to standard because I haven't been writing a while, so sorry for that too. Next chapter will be more exciting, I promise. And on time.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the course of the recent years, Castiel's home had become increasingly more and more lonely as each of his brothers went on to higher education. It had started with Michael, who got into the University of Kansas and promptly moved into a dorm, followed by Lucifer in the same manner just two years later. The house had taken a nose-dive into silence not long after their departures, but that wasn't a consolation at all when Cas was suddenly two brothers short. He wasn't used to seeing them just for lunch with the family every other Sunday (which they couldn't always make time for due to coursework) and the occasional popping in to say hi when they were near the neighbourhood.

However, his loneliness had reached an all-time high the year Castiel had entered high school. Not only was Michael accepted into Harvard Medical School, but Gabriel got into Juilliard, which meant both would be living in a whole different state for the next four years.

Now Castiel was a sophomore, and only had Lucifer's weekend visits to look forward to, but all they've been good for lately is to remind Cas that the latter would be following Michael to Massachusetts this summer – to study Law at Harvard.

All in all, home was depressing, and Castiel did everything he could to spend as little time there as possible.

Which naturally meant that visits to the Winchesters had to increase significantly.

Sam made Cas forget about the glum emptiness waiting at home without fail. There was always something to talk about – a new book, a movie, school – to keep Castiel's mind occupied. Sleepovers were still a regular occurrence – although Cas and Sam never called them that because they were fifteen now and _mature._ Castiel was embarrassed to admit that once John had forbidden him from spending the night again after a particularly long streak ("For God's sake, Cas, your parents must feel like _all_ their kids have left for college," he had told him).

The Winchester house had one more advantage – Dean.

Unlike Castiel's siblings, the elder Winchester decided to start working at his father's auto shop full-time rather than further his education. The two had agreed a long time ago that once John got too old for the job, Dean would take over the family business as his own. But for now, the nineteen-year-old's schedule remained quite relaxed, having only been given shifts Monday through Wednesday, as well as the morning turns on Saturday. Cas was secretly happy with this, because it meant a higher chance of seeing Dean whenever he was over. They had been getting closer and closer as the years went by, and although there had been that rough patch in the beginning of their acquaintance, Cas genuinely considered Dean as good a friend as Sam was.

It took some time to get used to the new programme, but as September bled into October, Cas was more or less enjoying tenth grade and all the obligations that came with it. The second weekend of the month found Castiel sitting on the couch with Sam and a bag of M&Ms between them. The TV played reruns of _Law and Order_ on low volume while the latter recounted the less-than-desirable date he had with Sarah Blake on Friday.

"It was going so well when we were at the museum," Sam groaned into his hands. "You wouldn't believe how much she knew about those paintings! She's so smart, Cas."

Castiel nodded understandingly as Sam spoke, waiting patiently for the punchline that put his best friend in such a state of distress.

"Anyway, after we saw everything, I suggested to get something to eat," Sam went on. "So we found this ice cream parlour—"

"Not my first choice if I was hungry, to be honest," Cas interjected.

Sam looked torn between grinning and glaring. The result was something in between, which wasn't at all very intimidating.

"I'm sorry, go on."

Sam rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but continued, "Right, so we went to get the ice cream. I paid and we left and then— God, I can't even _say_ it." He pinched the bridge of his nose, turning beet-root red, then mumbled against his palm, "I— I turned around to say something to her and rammed my cone into her chest."

There was a pin-drop silence during which Cas tried really, _really_ hard not to laugh or break his straight face. "Oh, my God," he managed, before slapping his hand over his mouth to stop the giggles forming.

"It was _humiliating!_ " Sam moaned as he flopped backwards onto the armrest of the couch. "The ice cream was all over her shirt. She was totally speechless."

Castiel nodded seriously through his grin. "I can imagine."

"Shut _up_ , Cas!" Sam insisted, laughing. "I can't ask her out again, not after this."

"Wait, you can't just assume that. What did she say afterwards?" Cas asked as he sobered up.

Sam's lips quirked at the corners. "She laughed and told me it's no big deal. She was really cool about it."

Castiel raised his eyebrows as if to say, _See?_

"Sarah likes you Sam, I know it. I'm pretty sure a little accident like this won't convince her to stop seeing you," he said.

Sitting up, Sam took another fistful of M&Ms and shared the candy between the two of them. "Thanks, Cas. God, I feel so _lame_."

Castiel laughed again before stopping short upon hearing the front door open. He and Sam craned their heads to see who had entered the hall.

" _Hey, anyone home?"_ came Dean's voice.

"Yeah, me!" Sam offered back. "Cas is here!"

Dean's reply came a little strained and Cas assumed he had bent down to unlace his boots. _"When is he not?"_

Chuckling, Sam turned back to face Cas with a smug expression. "Speaking of dates, Cas. You all set for yours with Inias tonight? Are you nervous?"

Cas' heart stuttered for a moment. "A little." Try a _lot_. This was his _first_ _date_ with a _boy_ he actually _liked_. That didn't happen to him every day. He had no idea how to act on a date, and Inias' smile only made him forget his words and blurt out stupid things instead. "I mean, I'm still working on believing it's actually happening."

Sam's grin restored some confidence in him. "You'll do great, Cas," he assured him. "Just be yourself. Try not to get too flustered – you're just talking to your friend, remember? No need to be worried. And don't buy any ice cream."

"Thanks, I'll remember that." Cas snorted.

Sam opened his mouth and would have probably offered more useful advice if Dean, who had entered from the kitchen, hadn't interrupted.

"Whoa, Cas is going on a date? Did I hear that right?" he teased with a cheeky grin, looking between the two fifteen-year-olds.

"I know, it's awesome," Sam said, nudging Cas' shoulder with his own in encouragement when the latter turned shy.

Castiel expected congratulations or something similar from Dean – he of all people should be happy with the news. Dating was the fourth most important thing in the world to him, right after Sam, his car and pie. So to say that Cas was surprised when Dean frowned in confusion was an understatement.

"Wait, you're for real?" he asked, his eyes honing in on only Castiel now.

"...Yes?" Cas didn't mean to pose it as a question, but his confidence was back to zero after Dean's unexpected reaction. He sat up slightly, leaning in to peer up at the blond curiously. "Why would I be joking?"

"You're seriously going out with someone?" Dean asked again, now coming to stand right in front of Castiel's spot on the couch.

Cas answered defensively, "Yes, I'm relatively sure we've just established that, Dean." He noted the uncertain look in Sam's eye as the younger Winchester looked from Castiel to his brother. "Is something wrong?" he said to Dean.

Now it was Dean's turn to become defensive. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just wondering." Crossing his arms, he asked, "Who are you going with? Do I know him?"

"Inias, and no, I don't think you do. He's in my Biology class," Cas said, a little irritated. " _What_ is the problem?"

"Look, there's no _problem,_ Cas, chill."

"Really?" It was Sam who spoke. He levelled his brother with a judgementally raised eyebrow. "Because you're kinda acting like there is, Dean."

"How well do you know this guy?" Dean asked Castiel, ignoring his sibling.

"I've been going to school with him for a year and a half, so I'd say well enough," Castiel responded. Seriously, what was going on? It's been a long time since Dean had been _this_ _intolerable_.

A muscle jumped in Dean's jaw as he scowled. "Okay, cool it with the sarcasm, will you? I'm trying to help."

"By doing what?" Cas demanded, standing up so he could fully look Dean in the eye. "Being incredibly cryptic and unsupportive?"

"Hey, guys—" Sam attempted to no avail.

"Unsupportive— Jesus _fuck_ , Cas! I'm just looking out for you, damn it," he growled. "I just find it out of the blue, man. How come you're dating all of a sudden? You've never shown an interest in it before."

Cas lifted his chin defiantly in a poor attempt to make up for some of the height Dean had over him. "How is this any of your business?" he retorted.

" _Guys,_ come on—"

Despite trying desperately to stay level-headed, Cas felt hot tears sting his eyes. He was angry and hurt and _confused_. "Why are you so against this, Dean? _Why?_ " he snapped, cursing himself at how his voice wobbled.

The room went dead silent. If Castiel had looked, he would have seen Sam's eyebrows arch expectantly. But Cas hadn't looked, because he was busy burning his glare into Dean's forehead and mentally thinking over possible answers that wouldn't necessitate punching the latter in the nose.

Dean reacted like Castiel had struck him with a brick. All the tension seeped out of his system – his jaw relaxed, his brow softened, his fists unclenched, his shoulders visibly slumped. Green eyes kept flitting to Cas' mouth as he struggled to form words.

Castiel waited. Nothing came.

Then just as suddenly as Dean's body had unwound, it tensed again in defence. Taking a step back, Dean finally looked Cas in the eye and raised his hands in surrender. "You know what? Forget it. Do what you want."

Castiel's glower narrowed, before he twisted round at Sam to thank him for the advice, then promptly stormed out into the hall.

"Cas, hey! Wait, don't go!" Sam called after him. "Dean's just—!"

Castiel never found out what exactly that was because he slammed the door behind him. The last thing he saw through the window of the Winchesters' living room as he stepped onto the pavement was Sam rounding on his brother, gesticulating wildly.

* * *

"—then the doctor said he must've had an allergic reaction to nuts," Castiel concluded, recounting the time Gabriel dared Lucifer to eat a spoonful of peanut butter in one go, only to watch his brother almost choke to death due to a previously unidentified allergy.

"Wow," Inias said, chuckling a little. "Was he all right afterwards?"

"He had to stay in the hospital for a week, but otherwise, yes," Cas answered. "However, Michael had us all undergo testing for any allergies known to man because of that incident."

When Inias rolled his head back as he laughed, Cas' insides buzzed pleasantly as he realized that he was the reason for that sound.

The date had gone better than Cas ever expected – He had worried about being strange or awkward during dinner and embarrassing himself. But initial nerves had worn off the both of them not long after they sat and ordered, and conversation started flowing easily from the moment their drinks came to when they split the bill. The evening ended with the two walking from the restaurant in the direction of Inias' house since it was first up on the way back.

The chit-chat kept them entertained for the entirety of the walk, ending only when they stood face-to-face on Inias' front porch.

"I had a really good time. Thank you," Cas said with a small smile.

"Me too," Inias replied. "We could do it again, if you would like."

Castiel's heart skipped a beat – was that an invitation to a _second date?_ He suddenly wished he had Sam with him to walk him through this. He knew so much more about dating etiquette than Cas did.

"Um, yes. Of course. I'd like that," Castiel added hastily when he remembered he hadn't replied yet. Inias grinned back a little shyly, before his gaze suddenly flew to the ground.

The atmosphere became slightly tense as Castiel realized that they were _standing right outside the front door._ Every rom-com he and Sam had watched and pretended to hate but secretly liked came flashing back in one big cheesy montage. Were they supposed to _kiss_ now? _Why hadn't he asked Sam about this?!_

Cas looked up with wide eyes when he heard a throat clearing, only to find Inias already staring at him. Then he noticed that Inias was _leaning towards him_ , and that was when Cas' brain helpfully reminded him that he had never kissed anyone before, that he had no idea what to do, what if he was completely awful at it, what if— Oh.

It was as if his mind was painted a blank white the moment he felt the tingle of lips brushing against his own. It was one simple touch, warm and soft and over within seconds. Cas met Inias' eyes to see that he was a little flushed. Come to think of it, his own face was feeling a little hot. They smiled somewhat uneasily at each other, Inias scratching the back of his neck and Castiel slightly chuckling out of sheer pressure.

"So, um, I'll call you, then?" Inias inquired, to which Castiel nodded a little too enthusiastically.

"Yes," Cas added just in case. "That would be— Yeah." Licking his lower lip, he rocked himself on the balls of his feet. "Good night, Inias. And thanks, again."

"It was my pleasure, really." Inias smiled, fishing his keys out of his coat pocket. "Good night."

Although he heard the front door close, Castiel waited until he turned the corner, before exhaling and pressing his grin into his scarf in an attempt to contain his excitement. Pulling out his phone and registering the time as nine-forty, he scanned through his contacts as quickly as possible. As the phone kept dialling, Cas counted the seconds to keep calm. When that didn't work, he focused on not stepping on any cracks in the pavement, until finally, _finally_ , his call was answered.

"...Hello, Sam? It's Cas!"

* * *

The following Saturday afternoon marked the start of another sleepover weekend at the Winchesters. Castiel left his bike at home in favour of walking to Sam's house, and he spent the time replying to emails and text messages from his siblings from his cell phone. In between, he'd take a pause to wonder about how to behave once he got to the Winchesters. Sam wasn't the problem – he had been thrilled about the short run-down Cas had given him after leaving Inias' house – and he even grilled him more on the subject at school. But Castiel was worried about Dean. He had no false hopes of things being perfectly amiable between them. He certainly expected some awkwardness.

And while on the subject, Cas took yet _another_ moment to wonder what exactly had gotten under Dean's skin so bad. He still didn't have a single clue. He tried to find out, he really did, but Sam avoided the subject like the plague whenever Castiel brought it up in school.

What pestered him so badly was – why? Dean had always been there for him, ready to listen whenever he had questions or just needed to talk. Castiel thought he'd be glad about him putting himself out there, standing on his own two feet and all that. So why, upon hearing about the date, wasn't he patting Cas on the shoulder like he always did with Sam?

Castiel didn't achieve much with his thoughts (except depressing himself) by the time he reached the Winchester's front yard. He saw Mary kneeling in the garden as she sorted out her vegetable seeds for the next season, smiling to her when she noticed him and waved him over.

"Hello, Cas. Used the nice weather for a small walk, I see," she said as she squinted in the sunlight. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"

"I'll be happy once I get these seeds tucked in and watered. But that's not important right now! Sam tells me you've been on a date," she sang, and her smile only grew at Cas' attempt to grin through his blush. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, it was great," Cas replied, shuffling his feet. "I... I had a lot of fun."

"Well, he's a very lucky young man," Mary said. "I'll stop bugging you now. You go on inside, sweetheart. I think Sam's up in his room."

Castiel mumbled a thank you and said farewell, before heading to the interior of the house, where he took off his coat and shoes. Then it was a small matter of going up the stairs and down the hall to Sam's room. Only once he got to the door, he stopped short before knocking, caught off-guard by the concerned tone Sam spoke in.

"— _isn't okay to leave it like this, Dean. You gotta_ do _something about it, damn it—"_

Was Dean in there with Sam? What was going on?

Against his better judgement (and his good manners), Cas subtly leaned in slightly to hear better.

"— _ridiculous, Sam. It's— This whole thing's stupid, okay? I'm a fucking idiot for thinkin' this could somehow work. It_ can't _—"_

" _Will you quit blaming yourself for just one second? You're_ not _an idiot, Dean. Look, we can figure this out, you'll— you'll just—"_

" _Jesus fucking Christ, Sam! Don't you get it? He doesn't care, not like that. Oh! And also – it's_ illegal _."_

Cas's mind raced. Was Dean in some kind of trouble? Did he break the law somehow?

" _Well... Maybe it is_ now _, but in a year—"_

" _It doesn't matter, Sam. Do me a favour, and forget we ever talked about this."_

" _Dean, it isn't fair on either of you!"_

" _Look, just – forget it. Okay? I'm not talkin' about this anymore."_

Castiel strained to hear what was said next, but belatedly realized that the conversation had finished and that someone was, in fact, walking towards the door.

Oh, crap—

Cas jumped like he'd been burned, simultaneously stumbling to regain his balance and backing away from the door so it didn't look like he'd been eavesdropping. He made it some four feet away from Sam's door when it came open, with Dean stepping out seconds after.

"Cas?" He frowned when he saw the other. Castiel thought he picked up a hint of urgency – panic, even – in his voice. "When d'you get here?"

"Uh, just now. I— I just got past the stairs." He hoped his smile was conveying innocence, because his answer certainly wasn't. "Um, Sam's up here, right? Not— Not that I saw or heard him. Or anything. But your mom told me he's here, so."

"Right." Dean blinked, then started to scratch the back of his neck. "Look... about that last time we, uh, we saw each other."

"Oh. Yes?" Castiel tried to control his nervous breathing as Dean closed the short distance between them.

"I shouldn't have yelled like that. I over-reacted, okay? Something came over me and I just... I didn't mean it." He huffed a small, humourless chuckle. "I'm real happy for you, Cas. Seriously. You... You deserved that date. So... we okay?"

Castiel smiled, nodding. "We are. Thanks."

Dean brushed his palm against Cas' arm briefly, before walking past him and heading for his own room.

"Just— Dean?" Cas suddenly called out, waiting for the blond to spin around. He had to ask. He _had_ to know. "Why _did_ you over-react?"

A soft smile settled on Dean's lips. The genuine kind, the one that lit up his features and made him especially handsome. Whenever Cas saw him like this, his heart did a small flip and his stomach turned into a big knot. "I was just worried, man. About you," Dean answered. "You're like family, Cas."

Dean's raw honesty made Castiel's chest squeeze so tightly it almost hurt. He nodded, too afraid to speak and ruin the moment by saying something as useless as a simple, _Thanks_. Dean nodded back, before turning around again and walking away.

Cas entered Sam's room in silence to find his best friend sitting on the bed with a pensive expression. Closing the door behind him and dropping his duffel on the desk chair, Castiel inquired, "You okay, Sam?"

Sam seemed to be pulled out of a reverie and still had that hazy look in his eye as he met Cas' gaze. "Yeah, I'm— It's fine." When he saw how dubiously Cas watched him, he insisted once more, "It's nothing. Don't worry, Cas. Come on, I know you're dying to tell me about _A Storm of Swords._ You were going nuts out over the phone."

Mentioning the latest book Cas had read in Martin's _A Song of Ice and Fire_ series worked as a perfect distraction if Sam had intended to do so. Castiel quickly got to marvelling at the plot's twists and turns, momentarily forgetting all about the conversation he had almost walked in on.

* * *

Mr and Mrs Winchester left the house at seven for dinner with family friends Bobby Singer and Jody Mills, and the boys were free to do whatever as long as they didn't disturb the neighbours. Sam and Cas had agreed early on that they would marathon _Star Wars_ together, so about an hour after Sam's parents left, they went upstairs to get dressed in their pyjamas (because chances were they'd fall asleep on the sofa, and they wanted to be at least _somewhat_ comfortable while doing so). They entered Sam's room together, but Cas grabbed his things from his duffel and went out again, to change in the privacy of the bathroom.

After a five-minute battle to get his hair to settle down was fought and lost, Castiel ventured back to Sam's bedroom only to find it already vacant. He heard voices from downstairs and figured both brothers must have already gone to the living room. As Cas walked down the stairs, he was very careful to keep out of business that didn't concern him this time around. But once he entered, he found Dean bent down, looking for their _Star Wars_ collection in the TV cabinet withSam standing beside him, the two lightly arguing about the order to watch the franchise in.

"It makes no sense to do it like that!" Sam was insisting. "You gotta go chronologically!"

"Come _on_ , Sammy. You're gonna dose off halfway through anyway, might as well start with the better trilogy," Dean countered.

"The sequel trilogy _is_ the better one, Dean!"

"Man, you know _nothin_ '."

Sam somehow managed to convey his eye-roll with his _entire body._ "Cas!" he cried when he saw his best friend behind him.

"Finally, someone with some sense," Dean called, his voice echoing slightly as he crawled further into the cabinet. "Dude, back me up on this one. We start with Episode Four, end with Three."

"That's not fair! You _know_ Cas is gonna vote to start from _New Hope_."

"S'why I'm askin', Sammy."

Castiel all but started sweating when Sam rounded on him. "I agree with Dean," he admitted. At the other's over-exaggerated, betrayed sob, he added, "I'm sorry."

"Ha! That's what I'm talkin' about." Dean made no secret of his joy as he finally re-emerged with the box set. Swatting off dirt from his jeans, he looked up to say something, only to stop short with his lips parted and jaw slack.

Castiel cocked his head to the side as he took in Dean's surprised blinking. Then he took note that Dean was blinking at _him_.

His gaze automatically followed Dean's line of sight down the length of his body. Cas couldn't understand what Dean was looking at. His pyjama was quite simple, consisting of an over-sized t-shirt and a pair of grey shorts, about the same size of your regular boxers. He checked his legs, exposed bare and slim and ridiculously pale, for anything weird, but found nothing.

Castiel looked at Dean. Dean looked at Castiel. Sam looked between both of them in confusion.

" _Dean_ ," Cas finally called, feeling a little uncomfortable and overly-scrutinized.

His voice seemed to snap something in the blond's mind. His eyes came back up to Cas' like he didn't realize what he had been doing, face tinged an uncharacteristic pink. Then the microwave went off in the kitchen and he yelped, "Shit, the popcorn!" and promptly ran to the snack's aid.

With a frown on his face, Castiel watched him disappear. Turning back to Sam, he asked, "What—?"

"I don't know," Sam said, but the bitch-face he sent in Dean's direction clearly said he did. Castiel didn't push it, though. Instead, he settled on the couch as Sam popped _New Hope_ into the DVD player. The latter also used the time waiting for Dean to set the subtitles up.

When Dean did return, he had two bowls of popcorn in his hands and a third in the crook of his left elbow. His eyes were staring at the TV and nothing else as he gave Cas and Sam a bowl each, then plopped down with his own, one hand already digging around.

The first part of the movie was spent in silence. Cas had his feet pulled to his chest and his chin resting on top of his knees. Beside him, Sam sat slumped, one leg tucked under its opposite thigh and the other dangling over the floor. And on the other end of the couch was Dean, lounging lazily like a cat with his arms running along the back of the couch and his legs outstretched on the coffee table. The three were connected by one giant comforter that someone had remembered to get at one point.

Dean's attention was drawn away from the film as he yawned, simultaneously taking note of Cas' empty popcorn bowl, discarded on the coffee table in front of them. "Hey, want me to go make more?" he asked Castiel, jerking his chin at the bowl.

Not wanting to make him miss the movie, Castiel shook his head. "No, it's fine, really—"

"No, you should. I'm out too," Sam interrupted. "We'll put pause."

"Are you kidding? I know the thing by heart." Dean waved his brother off when he reached for the remote. "You guys keep watchin', I'll be right back."

While Dean kicked the comforter off his lap and scooped up the bowls, Sam and Cas looked back to watch Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, disguised as Stormtroopers, bring in a supposedly-chained Chewbacca into the detention area. Cas snorted all through Han and Luke's terrified cries of, _"Look out! He's loose!"_ and, _"He's gonna pull us all apart!"_ and watched as the two wreaked havoc with laserfire. Just as Solo finished his conversation over the intercom by shooting at it, Dean handed back the newly-filled bowls.

Taking his seat again, Dean inquired at the same time Princess Leia did, _"Aren't you a little short to be a Stormtrooper?"_

" _Huh? Oh... the uniform."_ Castiel replied, grinning at him. He waited until Luke pulled off his helmet, then said again, _"_ _I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you._ _"_

Dean leaned over Sam to look at Cas. _"You're who?"_ he feigned confusion.

" _I'm here to rescue you. I've got your R2 unit. I'm here with Ben Kenobi!"_ Cas insisted back.

Now Dean sat up properly, eyes wide. _"_ _Ben Kenobi! Where is he?"_

"Guys, shut up!" Sam demanded as he pushed Dean away, forcing him to lean back.

Cas beamed at Dean regardless of Sam's interruption. He was glad that things were back to normal between them. Dean lifted a finger to his lips and gestured to watch the movie.

Things were quiet for all of five minutes while Darth Vader and Tarkin came on-screen, then when Han and Chewie met up with Leia and Luke, Cas heard a voice from the couch,

" _Can't get out that way."_

" _Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route,"_ Cas answered haughtily.

Smirking, Dean shot back, _"_ _Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, Your Highness."_

Castiel suddenly turned serious and said, _"_ _C3PO! C3PO! Are there any other ways out of the cell bay? We've been cut off!"_

"Cas!" Sam whined.

" _What was that? I didn't copy!"_ Dean and Cas replied in unison. Sam gave them his most epic bitch-face yet.

Once C3PO said his piece and finished, Dean spoke with Solo again as Sam hid his face into his hands, _"_ _I can't hold them off forever! Now what?"_

" _This is some rescue! When you came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?"_ Cas responded, sitting up to look at Dean over Sam's head.

Dean did the same, replying, _"_ _He's the brains, sweetheart!"_

Cas was surprised when he felt his spine tingle pleasantly at Dean's words. It was unprecedented and caught Cas off-guard. Dean obviously wasn't saying that to _him._ Cas was fully aware that they were just quoting a movie to each other. What was his mind playing at?

His face must have given away his conflicting emotions, because Dean stopped talking and furrowed his brow. Even Sam looked at the two of them when he realised they were missing the rest of Han and Leia's dialogue.

"Everything okay, Cas?" Sam asked, but Cas was too busy blankly staring at a piece of wall to look at him.

" _Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her, or I'm beginning to like her!"_

Solo's words worked like a bucket of cold water over Cas' head. His eyes blinked back into focus, but they didn't look for Sam.

They looked for Dean.

"Yeah, I'm..." Cas trailed off a little, noticing for the first time just how quickly his heart was beating.

What was going on with him? Why was he feeling this way? Why was _Dean_ making him feel this way? He'd never experienced anything like it. It wasn't at all similar to the way Inias affected him – around him, he was like a fumbling, love-struck child, basking in the pleasure of being noticed by an older boy he was desperately crushing on.

But _this_ , this was different. What he felt when he looked at Dean, it was nerves sparking into life, holding him mercilessly between panic and excitement. There was no relief for it, just a selfish desire for more of the adrenaline that came with gazing into too-green eyes.

Dean stared right back at him, concern and confusion etched in the lines of his frown. The green of his eyes was especially bright tonight, lit up by the flare of the television screen, almost gleaming.

"...I'm fine."

Conversation melted back into silence under laserfire and Han's screams. Castiel found himself staring at the screen, but didn't register the plot anymore. His mind was overwhelmed by crooked half-smiles and twinkling, green eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone found Inias OOC, it's probably because he was, sorry! I haven't watched the older seasons in ages and I barely remember what he was like. And sorry for that small bit of Cas/Inias. I just feel that Cas deserves to have some experience with someone who isn't Dean before they actually get together.
> 
> I know that Cas never gets any references in canon, but I like to think that is if he was human, he'd actually be a huge sucker for Star Wars and all those other goodies.


	6. Chapter 6

"I have _never_ done that!"  
"Dude, yes you have!"

"I have never told your father he has beautiful handwriting, Dean," Cas insisted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dean emptied his can of soda and tossed it in the bin beside Castiel. "You did, you _so_ did, Cas. I was there, I heard it!"

"You are making this up," Cas accused.

"I swear to God, I'm not." Dean laughed as he pushed off the wall. "You were like, first grade, you probably don't remember it. But I do – you were in our kitchen and you read the grocery list Dad made and left on the fridge!"

Hiding his face in his hands and groaning, Cas shook his head. "I don't believe it."

"Well, you better, unless you want me to ask him when I see him now," Dean teased.

"Don't you dare," Cas warned, but laughed despite trying very hard to sound intimidating. Dean raised his hands in mock-surrender, promising he wouldn't utter a word about it.

They were currently standing in John's office, in the auto repair shop. On a whim, Castiel had decided to stop by and visit Dean at work, whose break had just started. His schedule was busier than it had been last year – John had moved his shifts over to mornings and afternoons on working days, and had given him the entire weekend off instead. It meant that Cas saw much less of him after school, especially since he had recently moved out of his childhood home and into his own apartment.

The thought caused a pang of sadness to shoot through Cas' heart, depressing him a little as he tried to remember the last time he had seen Dean. Was it a week ago? It was silly that such a short time should mean that much, but Cas was used to seeing him almost every other day.

He looked up from his feet to find Dean staring at him with a bemused smile, bent forwards with his hands resting on his knees. "Hey, Earth to Cas. Anyone home?" he asked.

Cas belatedly realized he must have zoned out. "Oh. Sorry, I was... It's nothing. Did you say something?"

Dean headed over to the file cabinet where John kept all the information on his customers, replying over his shoulder, "Nah, but I saw you spacing out a little there."

Castiel would have made an articulate answer if it hadn't been for Dean stretching up to reach one of the higher drawers, making his shirt ride up in the process. A sliver of tan skin drew Cas' attention away from speech and his gaze travelled upwards, drinking in the view. Dean was drenched in sweat, his tee stuck to his skin, and rather than covering his body, it did a terrific job of exposing the tense muscles of his shoulders and back. As Dean fidgeted, their movements flowed in a way that could only be described as mesmerizing, and Cas found himself unable to look away. And although Dean was by no means an unattractive individual, Castiel was immensely surprised to also find his jeans a bit too tight because _since when did he think of Dean Winchester this way?!_

After _the incident_ last year, Cas expected his feelings to gradually simmer down and stop _confusing_ him so much that all he could do whenever Dean merely looked at him was blush. But no such luck. This strange fixation— _attraction_ his body had to Dean just grew and grew, which was incredibly inconvenient because he was Cas' _friend_ , for God's sake, and as much as he loved seeing his smile and hearing his laugh, Castiel did _not_ like the way he seemed to get a mild cardiac arrest every time that happened.

(The worst thing about this phenomenon was that, in a way, Cas actually _enjoyed_ it.)

"Okay, _this_ —" Thankfully, Dean's voice saved Cas from the inevitable migraine he would have given himself. Castiel's eyes slid up Dean's torso to look him in the eyes when the latter turned around with a folder in his hands. Although this put a stop to Cas' jeans shrinking a size, his heart started to palpitate. "—you definitely don't remember, but one time – I think you were seven years old – anyway, one time the four of us came over to your house for lunch, right? And once the folks finished talkin' and we were gonna go eat, your mom noticed that you weren't there. We searched the whole house and we couldn't find you."

Cas' heart rate increased some more when Dean flashed him a playful grin, slowly making his way towards the sixteen-year-old.

"And then," he enunciated. "I went out to the backyard to have a look and there you were, asleep in the hammock. You were out like a fuckin' log, man." Dean shook his head in disbelief, before his eyes settled on Cas, crinkling. "God, you were a cute kid. I didn't have the heart to wake you."

Cue heart rate rocketing off the chart. Castiel swallowed thickly through his flush, all too aware of Dean's gaze. "I don't remember that," he said meekly.

Something seemed to shift in Dean. He blinked a little, as if waking up from a daze, then returned softly, "Yeah, well. Like I said, you were a kid back then."

Conversation waned slightly when Dean spread the file out over the desk and read through it, muttering along under his breath as he did so. Castiel most certainly didn't take the moment to appreciate the view of Dean's tanned, freckled arms as they stretched out on either side of the folder. He also didn't attentively trace each of his fingers with his eyes, splayed out and tapping a rhythm that Cas recognized as the guitar solo from _Highway to Hell._

"Fuck," Dean suddenly swore.

"What is it?" Cas asked.

"Nothing, I just have a guy coming in later and I haven't gotten round to fixing his tail lights." The other scowled. "Gotta get a start on that once my break's done."

Castiel didn't even try to hide the grin that bloomed on his lips. "Thought you were past leaving things last minute," he teased.

"I didn't leave it last minute! I had to change the entire upholstery for a guy first thing when I got in. You know how long that takes?" Dean challenged with a smirk.

"All right, I desist," Castiel returned. "But that science project of yours in the eighth grade, for which you had two weeks to complete? Remember managing to do it all in one go the night before it was due?"

"Yeah. Because I'm awesome."

"Because Sam and I helped you finish it!" Castiel disagreed. "You had us sticking pictures and text all night. The only thing you did was complain about it looking to neat and _girly_."

"Well, it did." Dean teased. Having finished looking over the file, he headed back to the cabinet and slotted the folder back between it's brethren. "But I got an A for it, so I forgave you— Damn it." When he turned back to Cas, it was with his hands rubbing his face. "Think I got some dust in my eyes. Fucking perfect, got an eyelash in there, too."

"Let me look," Cas offered.

Dean didn't argue, just followed to where Castiel instructed him – John's desk, where the light was brightest. He backed up and leaned against the edge of it with Cas positioned between his legs, his hips caged by Dean's thighs. Castiel really didn't want to dwell on how suddenly excited that made him feel. Instead, he took a tissue from the packet discarded by the telephone, then cradled the side of Dean's head with one hand and tipped it back. His eyes were a little red and teary. Cas ignored how their sole focus on his face made his breath flutter.

"Which eye is it?" he asked.

"Left," Dean answered, and as if to emphasize, his eye gave a few agitated winks.

Cas nodded, raising the blond's eyebrow with his thumb, tissue at the ready in his other hand. "Look up... Down... Right— Okay stop, I see it."

Dean's breath was warm and soft against Castiel's skin when he leaned in closer, it thundered in his ears, right along with Cas' own heart beat. He really wished Dean would stop licking his lips because it was getting very hard to focus on not poking his eye out by accident.

"Don't blink..." Cas instructed while he caught the stray eyelash with the tip of the tissue. "Okay. It's out."

"Awesome. Thanks, Cas," Dean said, although he made no indication of moving. He remained where he was, resting against the desk, watching Cas' hands fold the tissue and toss it into the bin. When blue eyes met green, Castiel felt a sensation similar to falling in a dream.

They stayed like that – seconds, minutes, Cas couldn't tell – and just watched, blanketed in the comfortable silence.

Whatever moment they were having was shattered by the sound of the door opening, letting in a flurry of busy chatter and the buzzing of machines. Cas and Dean turned in unison to see John Winchester standing in the doorway.

Dean's father stopped in his tracks for a moment, looking between the two, then around the room, taking in the quiet atmosphere. "Dean," he finally said, "you keeping an eye on the clock?"

Automatically, Cas' gaze flickered to the watch on his hand. Five minutes till the end of Dean's break.

"Yeah, I got it," Dean was saying to John, gently pushing Cas back and standing up straight.

"Okay. Listen, I got a customer who's got trouble with his alternator, I want you to come look at this for a second." John beckoned his son with a piece of paper.

Castiel subtly stepped away until he was a polite distance away from the desk John and Dean occupied. Turning his back to them, Cas ignored their conversation (there was too much technical jargon involved, anyway) in favour of observing the framed pictures Mr Winchester had on his wall. They were of classic muscle cars – Buicks, Pontiacs and Fords lined the wall in models that Cas was never able to tell apart, but was sure Dean knew each down to the year of manufacture. There were several Chevrolets too, of which Cas only recognized the '67 Impala. That photograph was different that the rest; it was smaller, more worn out, missing all the fancy filters the others had. And unlike the others, it showed two young boys peeking out of the back seat window. It must have been John's own photograph, Cas realized as he took in Sam and Dean's giant smiles.

The flood of memories that hit him almost made him miss the way John's voice dropped a few decibels from behind him. Curiosity sparked in him, and he managed to catch something about, "keeping it in the supply closet, not in the office". Castiel didn't know what _it_ was, and the way Dean began choking as his face burst into a deep flush didn't help make matters any clearer.

" _Dad,_ it's not— We _weren't_ —" the blond hissed back, but his father saved him the trouble by chortling and slapping his shoulder. Dean scowled in return, then stalked away.

Castiel only had time to tilt his head questioningly and throw a quick farewell to John, before Dean was dragging him out of the office by the arm.

"Is everything all right, Dean?" Cas asked once the other released him.

"Yeah. It's nothing," Dean assured him with a smile, and it would have convinced Cas just fine if he didn't catch the way Dean's eyes failed to crinkle. Castiel knew from years of experience – Dean's eyes never crinkled when he was smiling through a lie.

Cas nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Listen, I gotta go back to work now," Dean said. "But thanks for droppin' in, Cas. I mean it. You, uh... You gonna be over at the house sometime soon?"

"Yeah, Sam and I have a thing on Thursday, after school," Cas responded.

"Okay, cool. I'll see if I can be there for lunch."

Castiel grinned. "I'm holding you to that, you know."

"Awesome." And this time, he was glad to see Dean's smile reach his eyes.

* * *

"Oh my God, guys! Listen to this!"

The attention of the lunch table shifted from Chuck's half-finished story to Jo, who was breathing hard, having just burst into the canteen.

"What is it?" Sam asked as she squeezed between Charlie and Kevin, her two classmates.

"Okay, so I found out that Ash is throwing a party this weekend, and guess what?" Jo leaned in conspiratorially. "After a long discussion, I got us – _all_ of us – invited!"

"Whoa!" Sarah was the first to respond. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious! Ash completely caved."

"But, Jo," Chuck said, eyeing their group in concern, "Ash is in _college_."

Jo frowned. "Yeah, so?"

"So that's a _college_ party," Sam replied. "With _college_ students. Who are probably gonna sneak booze in. Booze that _we're_ not allowed to drink."

Jo snorted, rolling her eyes. "Come _on_ , Sam. Other than Ash, there's only a handful of other juniors who are twenty-one. Besides, I'm not gonna force you into drinking if you don't want to."

"Just force us into coming," Kevin added wryly.

"Exactly." Jo grinned teasingly.

"Come on," Charlie spoke up. "It'll be fun. And we _seriously_ need to celebrate after being bombed by our finals."

She was right – Cas had his last exam on Wednesday, and he knew for a fact that everyone at the table was finished too. Now, they only had that one unnecessary week of school left to get through.

"I agree with Charlie," Sarah said and turned to Sam, who looked from his girlfriend to the others.

"What do you say, guys? You in?" he asked with a half-smile.

Chuck looked to Kevin, and Cas said to his best friend, "I'm willing to go if you are."

"Great. Kev? Chuck?" Jo turned to the other two.

After a second of thought, Chuck heaved a sigh and nodded. "Sure."

"I would, seriously," Kevin stated, "but my mom's never gonna let me."

Castiel knew his own mother would be glad that he was finally socializing, but his mind immediately flitted to his older brother. Michael would go insane if he knew.

"I already got that covered. See, I don't think my mom would be on board with this either," Jo explained. "So I figured, we all tell our folks that we're going out for some food. Like a celebration for the end of school and all that crap."

Castiel thought about it. Michael would certainly go for it, and he was pretty sure Mrs Tran worried less than the aforementioned sibling.

"Sound good?" Jo asked the group. One by one, each gave her a nod in response. "Okay, awesome! Do you have anyone special you'd want to take with, exhibit A?" She pointed to Sam and Sarah.

"Ooh, can I invite Glenda?" Charlie immediately spoke up in reference to her crush.

"Sure," Jo said, then looked around for any more takers.

Castiel shook his head – he was decidedly single. After Inias, who Cas had been with for a month in sophomore year, his interest in dating had fallen back to zero. And the strange turn of events involving Dean Winchester had nothing to do with that. Not one bit.

"All right, everyone good, then?" At the collective nods, Jo grinned excitedly. "We meet at my place at seven this Saturday."

* * *

Cas could hear the music even before his group turned the corner and stepped onto the street where Ash lived. It wasn't hard to single out which house was his (technically, which one he co-owned, since he lived with three other students) – it was the only house which had lights flaring from all its windows and some fifty people crowded in its front yard. Ash was lucky it was seven-thirty on a Saturday night and that most people were out about town. The fact that this was a relatively cheap neighbourhood and close to campus, meaning most neighbours were probably students as well, helped too.

Cas observed his companions. Jo looked ecstatic. Charlie and Glenda looked a little less so, but were visibly excited nonetheless. Chuck and Kevin exchanged an apprehensive frown. When he felt an arm link around his elbow, he looked to his right to see Sarah grinning at him. Her other arm was looped around Sam's.

"You ready to show these college kids who's boss, Cas?" she asked.

Castiel replied monotonously, "Absolutely not."

Sarah have him an approving jiggle. "Then let's go."

With a tight-lipped smile in Sam's direction and a half-shrug in return, Cas followed the direction Jo had left in, already lost in the pulsing interior of the house.

Their group stuck together, first heading to a plastic table to get some drinks, then settling in a vacant corner where they could somewhat hear each other. No one gave them much notice, since they were either too drunk or too busy dancing wildly in the centre of the living room. Unsurprisingly, Castiel didn't recognize anyone, with the exception of Garth, one of Ash's roommates, who Cas knew by sight from a few visits to _The Roadhouse_ , where Ash worked for Jo's mother. Much like everyone else, he was inebriated and currently doing a dance that was more similar to an impersonation of a chicken.

Not for the first time that evening, Cas considered agreeing to this outing a bad idea. He wasn't much of the partying type, and neither was he social enough to be bothered to go mingle with other guests. He was content with staying by Sam's side, listening to the ongoing conversation and discussing points with Kevin.

It wasn't until a good fifteen minutes had passed that Jo found them, with a scowl and crossed arms. "Guys! I didn't bring you here to keep to yourselves and chill with _each other!_ I brought you here to meet college students," she told them. "Go ask someone to dance!"

Chuck, Kevin and Cas began making half-hearted excuses, but Charlie seemed to like the idea, because she grabbed Glenda by the wrist and towed her away. Within seconds, Sarah was doing the same to Sam, who began babbling protests.

"Perfect. Now, you." Jo examined the other three like a general regarded troops. "Scram and be sociable."

She didn't stop watching them like a hawk until Kevin, Chuck and Cas each approached someone. Cas could see his two friends building up the courage to ask their respective person to a dance, but he himself knew he'd probably injure himself and others the second he set foot on a dance floor, so instead he asked,

"Excuse me. Can you tell me which way the bathroom is, please?"

The young man who had been bobbing his head along to the music, stopped midway through his drink and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Sure, little dude. Just up the stairs, second door to your right— No, left."

Having felt Jo's eyes retreat from the back of his head, Cas nodded curtly. "Thank you. Have a nice night." And instead of heading upstairs, he left to the kitchen.

He was careful not to pass too close to the dancing mass in fear of Jo catching him, but he did see Sam and Sarah laughing together, and Charlie wooing Glenda with a dip. Kevin and Chuck's labours had proven worthwhile, as each danced, albeit shyly, with a girl.

The kitchen was only marginally quieter than Ash's living room, but it did contain a substantially smaller amount of intoxicated college students. Cas lingered to the side, sipping on his orange juice in silence, connecting to the WiFi and checking his email for any word from his brothers. He just finished typing up a reply to Lucifer's newest escapades at law school when an arm wrapped around his shoulder. For a second, he was terrified Jo had gripped him in a headlock, but he was crushed against someone much firmer and larger, with wide shoulders and a sharp jawline and green eyes and—

" _Dean?"_ Cas yelled over the noise, eyes widening at the sight of the blond.

The first signs of trouble showed up when Dean released him and stumbled backwards with a woozy grin. "Cas, I saw Sammeh. He told me you guys were here. Shit, I didn't— I didn't think you'd ever come to an honest to God _party._ Did— Did Jo put you up to this?"

"Yes," Cas said briefly. "Dean, are you drunk?"

Dean shrugged cheekily. "A lil'." Judging by the way he couldn't stop swaying left and right, _a little_ was a monumental understatement.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel asked him. "You don't go to college."

"Dude, Ash invited me. We went to the same grade in high school," Dean reminded him in a slur.

Cas had only ever seen Dean tipsy after one too many beers at lunch. This was completely new territory to him. Evidently when drunk, all sense of personal space was lost on Dean. He was standing much closer to Cas than he normally would have, so close that the sixteen-year-old could smell the concoction of different beverages he had in his system, staining his lips and breath.

"You okay, Cas?" Dean wondered, peering at him curiously. " 'Cause if you need me to, I'll take you home— _Your_ home, I mean, I wouldn't take you to my place. Y'know, not like _that_."

From the mischievous way Dean grinned, Castiel assumed he was implying something sexual. He was mortified when he realized the suggestion had made his belly tighten in arousal.

"No, I understand," he muttered. "But, um, do _you_ need to get home, maybe? You're too drunk to drive, I could walk you... home... if you... liked...?" Cas trailed off uncertainly when he noticed that Dean was no longer listening to him, but staring at his face so intensely that he looked like he was about to self-combust.

When Dean placed his hands on Cas' cheeks, the latter almost choked himself by accidentally squeaking and gasping at the same time.

"Your eyes... are _so – freakin' – blue,"_ Dean told him like he was realizing this for the first time in his life. He held Cas' face so gently, rubbing his thumbs alongside his cheekbones. Castiel would have found it incredibly pleasant if he wasn't busy trying to rein in his heart rate. "I just— I can't— It's not _normal._ An' they make your face look real nice."

Castiel had no idea what to make of this statement, except that it seemed to drive his body crazy.

"Thank you," he returned, raising his own hands and prying Dean's fingers off his face.

However, Dean wasn't pleased with the idea of keeping his hands to himself, so he settled them on Cas' shoulders instead. They were warm, firm, gripping into his shirt like his life depended on it. "Listen," he said, "I watched this _really_ good movie last night, it was on TV and I literally _just_ turned it on before it started—"

" _Jurassic Park?"_ Cas supplied to speed up Dean's drunken rambling.

Dean looked genuinely surprised. "How'd you know?" he asked, grinning hugely, but apparently wasn't interested in Castiel's answer that he had also watched it the previous night, because he simply barreled on, "So there's this scene at the start where a bunch of guys are movin' a crate in the middle of, like, a rainforest or something. Then, when they get one guy to open the crate up, there's an accident an' he's grabbed by this dinosaur— Did I tell you the movie's about dinosaurs?"

"Yeah, I know," Cas confirmed.

"Right. Yeah. So then there's screams an' yells while this— this _other_ guy's tryn'a save the worker from the velociraptor—"

Castiel smiled and caught Dean's attention by grabbing his wrists. "Dean, _I_ _know_. I've watched the film," he said as the other twisted his hands and began dragging his thumbs against the inside of Cas' wrists.

"Shit, seriously? Did you like it? You liked it, right? It's a classic, man."

"I did," Cas assured him, all the while enjoying the feeling of Dean's rough skin scratching against his own. He watched Dean fiddle with his palms in fascination, running his index finger along the creases.

"Good," Dean murmured, though his eyes never left Castiel's hands.

After a long pause, Cas said, "Dean, I really think someone should take you to your apartment. Sam and I won't be staying here long, and I don't want you to walk home by yourself."

"You worry too much, Cas!" Dean insisted like he wasn't continuously leaning back and forward as he spoke. "Though, I sorta like it. You bein' worried, I mean. About me."

Castiel smiled fondly at the other. "I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're important, Dean."

Dean licked his lips. "Yeah?" he murmured. Cas noted that his hands had gone still and his eyes watched something on his nose.

The surprise in Dean's voice made Castiel's smile grow into a bemused grin. "Of course."

Cas' gaze narrowed as he wondered what exactly about his nose could have consumed Dean's attention like this. But when biting his lower lip caused Dean's eyes to widen for a fraction, Cas realized with a start that he was staring at his _mouth_.

Cas had sometimes been forced to third-wheel when Sam's girlfriend joined them on outings – but this meant he'd also seen Sam in action plenty of times. So he knew that when Sam honed in on his partner's lips, softened his smile and parted his mouth ever so slightly, he was going in for a kiss.

And right now, Dean was pulling the exact same face. At _Cas_.

Castiel felt light-headed. His breath hitched, his heart hammered in his chest that was too tight. Voices faded, the music dulled, everything around his seemed to slow down. All he saw was Dean, intoxicated and unsteady but eyes burning with determination all the same, resting his forehead against Cas', leaving their mouths millimetres apart. He barely heard himself swallow over the rush of blood that thrummed in his ears. The smell of alcohol stung in his nose as Dean's breath mingled with his own.

Dean nudged forward, the brush of his upper lip a mere tingling sensation Castiel could all but feel on his skin, and then—

"Dean! Where d'you run off to, brother?"

Reality came crashing back down on them, and had Cas jolting away like a startled animal, with Dean nearly toppling over on top of him.

"Benny!" Dean slurred at his friend as he slung an arm around Castiel, who was panting hard in order to get back the breath that had been knocked out of him.

Cas looked around in search of Dean's friend and saw him through the archway of the kitchen, calmly standing in the living room, unaware of the chaos around him.

"You back for another round of shots? Lookin' for a rematch?" Dean yelled again, nearly bursting Cas' eardrum in the process.

"Last I remember, I beat you fair and square," his friend replied in much the same volume.

Dean smirked at the challenge, but dropped it once he looked back at Cas, still nestled in the crook of his arm and stunned into silence. "Hey, I gotta go. You'll be okay without me?"

Castiel had no idea how he'd found his voice, but he vaguely heard himself say, "I'll be all right."

Moments after, the warmth of Dean's arm around his back was gone. He wasn't sure how much longer he remained there, but at one point or another, Cas got tired of standing there by himself, and went to look for Sam.

He didn't say anything when he found him, just smiled back when his best friend sheepishly grinned at him from the impromptu dance floor. Castiel looked calm on the outside (his poker-face was yet to be beaten) when in reality, his mind was going a hundred miles a minute. He could only think of Dean – the jut of his nose, the bow of his lips, the curve of his smile, the freckles dusting his cheeks. The adrenaline he had felt when they stood inches away was still rushing through his body. A part of him still felt as if he was standing in the empty kitchen, waiting for the press of Dean's mouth against his.

His knees felt weak as the truth settled in – he had felt _anticipation_ when he thought Dean was about to kiss him. But the biggest surprise of all? Not once did Castiel want to do anything to stop him. He had _wanted_ Dean to kiss him.

Suddenly, all his feelings made sense. All the nerves, the flushing, the excitement. He didn't just mindlessly want Dean. He was _in love_ with the stubborn, eye-roll-inducing, incredible man downing his fifth shot ten feet away from him.

* * *

Although Castiel and his friends each returned home at around eleven-thirty (because arriving any later from a restaurant would have caused suspicion), he was reasonably sure that Ash's other guests didn't turn in before the early hours of the morning. Which was why Cas expected the doorbell that rang at nine forty-five as he put away his milk and cereal to be Sam.

Instead, Castiel nearly recoiled in terror at what he saw standing at his front door.

The pale, tired face of Dean Winchester squinted back at him in the sunlight, thin-lipped with dark circles under his blood-shot eyes. He wore clothes that had clearly been slept in; Castiel recognized the red plaid shirt peeking from beneath the leather jacket and the washed-out jeans as the very same articles Dean had worn yesterday. His hair was looking marginally better than his state of dress, but perhaps that was because Cas always liked how Dean's hair looked when he walked downstairs into the Winchester kitchen at sleepover weekends.

"Hi," Cas said quietly. Living with a teenage Gabriel meant that he was no stranger to hangovers. Stepping aside, he let Dean pass into the hall.

"Hey." Dean's voice was hoarse and even quieter than Cas'. He propped himself against the wall as his unlaced his boots, hands immediately going for his head when he straightened up. "Okay, _fuck_ , not doing that anymore. Almost barfed. Can you get me some water?"

Cas nodded and left to the kitchen, listening to sluggish, heavy footsteps follow him. "Do you want an aspirin as well?"

"Nah, I already chucked back three," was Dean's response. Cas watched him settle into a barstool at the counter and press his forehead against the cool surface. "Your folks home?"

"No, they left out while I was asleep," Cas answered and sat down next to Dean. "How did you get home last night?"

He waited until Dean downed half of his glass. "Benny drove me, I think. I gotta pick up my baby from Ash's street later. Sam called me this morning to make sure I'm alive. Woke me up, too."

Cas smiled at Dean's scowl. "How is Sam?"

"A perky bitch. Says you guys had an awesome time last night."

Right. Last night. The night Dean tried to kiss him and caused Cas to realize how wrong he had been about his feelings. _That_ night.

"...Yeah, it was fun."

Was this it? Was this the right moment for Cas to tell Dean how he really felt about him? He had been tossing and turning all night, trying to figure out the best scenario, trying to think of what would happen next. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous about this – Dean _did_ try to kiss him, that didn't leave much room for other interpretations.

But Dean beat him to it when he said, "Listen, I need to talk to you about last night. You gotta fill in some blanks for me." He looked up from his glass for some kind of signal and once Cas nodded, he went on, "My memory's really fuzzy, I can barely remember the shit I drank. But I know that I found you in the kitchen, and I know we talked about— Christ, what was it? _Jurassic Park?"_

"Yeah. You recounted the first three minutes of the film for me," Castiel confirmed. "Short, but to the point."

Dean laughed into his hands, rubbing his eyes. It was rough like gravel and Cas' breath stuttered at the sound. "God, what other shit did I say to you? You know what, never mind. I don't wanna know."

"None of it was bad," Cas assured him.

The blond's head rolled to a side as it rested against his palm, his gaze inexplicably dejected. "Damn it, I— Cas, I know I came on to you, okay? And it wasn't right to do that."

The change of tone caused Castiel's brow to furrow. "Dean."

"No, look. I'm really sorry. I guess booze just does that to me. I get handsy and shit." He stopped to run a hand over his mouth.

Castiel didn't speak, still trying to wrap his head around Dean's words. Was last night just an alcohol-induced accident to Dean? Had he read this _completely_ wrong?

Dean addressed his glass more than Castiel himself, "I didn't mean to hit on you. You're my friend, Cas. I never meant to put you in that position. I feel like shit. God, you must've thought I was a pervert."

The irony only made Cas bitter and crestfallen. He blankly stared at his hands, the conversation finally settling in and twisting his stomach painfully. There was no sound coming out of his mouth, even though he tried to say something, a lie to assure Dean that everything was completely unchanged, that his own feelings were strictly platonic. But he couldn't, not when he was burning with shame all over.

"Cas? Talk to me, man. I need to know that I didn't fuck this up."

"Of course you didn't." He wasn't sure how he found his voice, nor how he convinced himself to barrel on without throwing up. "I knew that you were drunk and probably unaware of what you were saying. You really weren't as bad as you seem to remember."

The half-smile that usually would have lifted Cas' spirits now only depressed him further. Dean fumbled with his glass, swirling its contents around sloppily. "Okay, good. That's— That's good."

Cas tried to smile back, but it was more of a pained grimace than anything else.

Dean left not long after, having needed to get his car back, and as soon as the door was closed behind him, Castiel returned to his bedroom, burrowed himself into his blankets and let dreamless sleep wash over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I feel like this is the right time to tell you guys that the next chapter will be the last! It's most likely that there'll be an epilogue following it, so look out for that too :)


	7. Chapter 7

"Have a nice day." The barista behind the counter beamed as Sam picked up his change and order.

"Thank you," Cas replied both to the girl and to Sam, who had handed him his muffin. After goodbyes were exchanged, the two of them stepped out into the blazing summer sun and began their walk to the park.

"You didn't have to pay," Castiel told Sam grumpily, aware of the fact that he was bringing it up for the fourth time now.

"Dude, it's a _muffin_. Just let it go." The brunet grinned around his chocolate chip cookie. "Consider it a perk of being a birthday boy."

Cas smiled in embarrassment. "Sam, you know I don't want to be treated differently on my birthdays," he said, taking his first bite of the muffin. He had initially refused to eat it in rebellion, but he was only human and couldn't resist much longer.

Sam countered, "You know that I never do, but it's is your _eighteenth_ , Cas! I had to make an exception."

"I still can't believe it. I don't feel like I'm eighteen," Cas said.

Sam laughed and took a sip of his coffee before continuing. "I totally get it, trust me. Sometimes, I still think we'll be going back to high school next year."

Castiel hummed in agreement. "College is going to be quite a change."

"Yeah." Sam sighed, half-heartedly swirling the contents of his coffee cup. "It is."

It only took a second for Cas to realize the cause of his best friend's sudden dejection.

"Her flight was yesterday, wasn't it? To New York?" he asked.

"Yep. New freaking York," Sam huffed.

"Did you see Sarah before she left?" Cas asked, referring to Sam's – as of last week – ex-girlfriend.

"I did, for lunch a few days ago. She brought up the long-distance thing again, but I don't know. I don't think..." Sam trailed off and took to nibbling at his cookie again.

"Well, you'll always have me." Cas attempted, but he was no expert at comforting others. "We have three classes together, remember? And I'm sure all the dorms are very close."

Sam gave him a smile, albeit very small. "I know. You're right."

Castiel's eyes widened a little when he remembered, "What about that girl we met on Friday? On that tour we had around KU. Jessica, right?" At Sam's quiet confirmation, Cas added, "She was very nice. And she seemed to like you a lot."

"Jess, yeah. She was friendly, but I think I'm just gonna lay off dating for a little bit," Sam told him.

Cas nodded in understanding and let the subject change. The rest of the walk passed without any excitement, save for a sparrow almost swooping into Cas' head in attempt to take a bit of his muffin, but the time spent with Sam was enjoyable nonetheless. Once they reached the entrance of the park again, Castiel was ready for the next expedition Sam had planned for the morning.

But when he asked Sam as much, the latter looked at the watch on his wrist before saying, "Oh, man. It's almost noon. I gotta go home, Cas. I promised Mom I'd help her with her vegetable patch."

"At noon?" Castiel asked incredulously. "Isn't the sun a little too strong?"

For the slightest of seconds, Cas almost thought Sam looked like a panicked deer. "Yeah. But I gotta help her pick stuff. For lunch, you know," was his answer. "But I'll totally make it up to you, I promise. We'll go to The Roadhouse for the greasiest burgers Ellen's got. My treat."

"No, Sam! No more treats!" Cas pleaded.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine. Ellen probably won't even let us pay, though."

"Well, we'll force her." Grinning and slowly walking backwards, Cas waved at his friend, who was doing the same. "Bye, Sam."

"Bye. I'll see you at seven-thirty at your place, okay?" Sam called back.

"I'll see you then," Castiel confirmed, before he turned the corner and headed home.

When the door behind him clicked shut, he got to unlacing his shoes and called out to his parents as a sign that he had come home. It wasn't until he was standing upright again that he realized he had been greeted by silence. He repeated his greeting as he checked out the kitchen, but got no answer. Instead, he found a note tacked to the fridge from his mother, saying that they had gone out shopping, and to look in the living room for the present his father had left him.

Confused, Castiel pulled out his phone to text his mother and wandered back out into the hall, only to stop dead in his tracks when he entered the living room, his unfinished message completely forgotten.

"Oh my God, look at him. He's completely speechless!" Gabriel, as always, was first to break the silence. He stood between Michael and Lucifer, each sporting a grin of varying intensity. It took all of two seconds for Cas to cross the distance and hurl himself into his brother's awaiting arms.

"What are you doing here?" he asked him.

"Oh, nothing special, Cassie," Gabriel sang as he watched Lucifer haul Cas into a hug. "Just visiting the folks. Absolutely nothing to do with your eighteenth birthday, no way."

Cas allowed himself to be pulled in again by Michael, but not before he saw him roll his eyes at Gabriel. "Happy birthday, Cas," Michael told him.

That was how Mr and Mrs Novak found them, arranged side to side on the couch, chattering away like they had never split up. Then the four of them followed their mother into the kitchen, where each son was given a task to help with lunch. Cas was amazed at the speed food could be prepared with an extra three pairs of hands. The table was made and the family seated not long after the finishing touches were added to Mrs Novak's lasagna. Soon enough, talk filled the dining room, and Cas felt as if none of his brothers had ever left for college.

Michael, who had graduated from Harvard Med last month, finished telling them about the general surgery residency he would be starting soon in Boston, then the conversation shifted to Gabriel, the second recently-graduated Novak son.

"Do you have an idea on what to do next?" Father implored.

The other shrugged. "Stay in New York and start auditioning for real. Maybe find an agent," he said.

"You know," Michael began, setting down his fork for the moment, "it's still not too late to go for a Master's degree. Next fall, maybe you can do some research, find what you like. I know that law school, for example—"

"Come _on_ , not this again!" Gabriel moaned. "Mikey, I'm happy doing what I'm doing. Why can't you—"

"I'm just worried," Michael responded. "A Bachelor's in Drama isn't the most practical of degrees—"

"Yeah, except for acting." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Which – _news flash_ – is what I wanna do."

Frowning, Michael went on, "I just meant that you could have used your time better by studying for a degree that would be more useful."

"Like what? Neurobiology? _C_ _ardiothoracic surgery?"_ Gabriel retorted. "I'm sorry we can't all be fancy doctors like _you_ , Michael—!"

As Michael and Gabriel deteriorated into their heated debate, Lucifer grinned from his forkful of salad, announcing to no one in particular, "It's good to be home."

"—four years in that school, and for what? _A Pepsi commercial?"_

"Well, it's no fucking heart transplant, but we all gotta start somewhere—"

"Hey! No bad-mouthing the Pepsi commercials, Mike. I loved those," Lucifer interrupted.

"Those really were wonderful, Gabriel. You were brilliant," Mother said to Gabriel, who shot a smug grin in Michael's direction.

"He met Snoop Dog, Mikey," Lucifer teased. "Would it be so terribly beneath you to admit that's _almost_ as impressive as digging around people's chest cavities and quite literally touching their hearts?"

"Is that necessary?" Father asked, suddenly looking much less interested in his plate.

"I just worry that was a one-time deal. You know as well as I do how much competition actors have to deal with," Michael replied to the blond.

"Gabriel is very talented and I'm positive he won't have to look far for work," Castiel said mostly to the aforementioned brother. Gabriel gave him a loud kiss on the cheek in return, but Michael still didn't budge.

Rolling his eyes, Lucifer drawled, "Oh, come on. Just admit you're proud of him. We all know you have those videos saved on your phone anyway."

Gabriel lit up with glee. "Really?!"

" _Lucifer,"_ Michael hissed.

"Oops." The blond shrugged, trying to feign innocence, but his mischievous grin ruined the effect.

The entire table watched Michael mutter about liking the one where Gabriel got thrown out of a window, then rolling his eyes without any real malice at the way Gabriel's grin tripled. When the brunet snatched Michael's phone out of his pocket and began rummaging through it for physical proof, his elder brother's protests increasing in volume by the minute, Castiel turned to listen to his father question Lucifer about preparations for his third year at Harvard Law.

Castiel felt a bit guilty that – between the excitement of having his brothers back, and the fun and laughs they shared over anecdotes that had happened during the period of separation – upon hearing the doorbell, he had completely forgotten Sam's promise about taking him to dinner. He barely noticed his best friend entering the living room as he and his siblings cheered Gabriel on while he attempted to finish his third slice of cake. While Sam exchanged hellos with the rest of the Novaks, Cas ran to the hall to get his shoes.

Castiel listened to Michael's rambles about having safe fun as he double-checked that he had his wallet and phone.

"Tomorrow night, we're taking you to a _real_ restaurant," Lucifer called as Cas and Sam huddled at the front door.

Frowning in confusion, Cas answered, "The Roadhouse is a real restaurant. Ellen works very hard to maintain it's high standards."

Despite the elbow to the side he received from Michael, Lucifer's cryptic grin didn't waver. Cas caught a flash of Sam's bitch-face, but before he could ask anything else, Gabriel was slapping them each on the shoulder and pushing them out the door.

"You boys have fun!" he said in a chipper voice. "And don't be back before two!"

Any retort Michael had to that was cut off by the door shutting.

Sam turned to Cas. "Sure must be nice to have them all under the same roof again," he said wryly.

"It is," Castiel answered nonetheless as the two of them set off. "I was really surprised to see them this afternoon. I wasn't expecting it, they've been really busy lately. It was great, though. The last time we've all been together was for Gabriel's graduation..." He trailed off at the sight of Sam's peculiar expression. "Why are you smiling like that?" he asked.

"Me? I'm not smiling," Sam said through what was _definitely_ a smile.

"Yes, you are. Though you look like you're biting into your cheeks, like you're trying to hide it—" Cas' eyes widened in realization. He gaped at his best friend, pointing an accusatory finger. "You _knew?_ And you didn't tell me?"

"It was a surprise!" Sam laughed. "Oh, man. I wish I had been there. Gabriel said your reaction was priceless."

"So you— But how did you get dragged into this?" Cas demanded.

Sam shrugged. "Gabe called me last night and told me the three of them would be flying in to surprise you for your birthday. He wanted me to keep you out of the house the whole morning so they could sneak in without you knowing."

Castiel nodded, at last beginning to put the pieces together. "Is that why you said we couldn't hang out this morning? So I could spend my afternoon with my scheming brothers?"

"Pretty much."

"I think they're starting to rub off on you too much," Cas teased.

"Yeah, them or Dean." Suddenly, Sam put his hand on Cas' arm, stopping for a second. "Crap, that reminds me! Dean's got some keys for Dad, and he asked if I could stop by to pick them up. His place is literally on the way. Do you mind?"

Cas' heart jumped at the thought of seeing Dean. He had only received a text message from him, wishing him a happy birthday. And although Cas promised himself a long time ago that he'd make sure to keep things strictly – _painfully_ – platonic between them, he figured he could be selfish and indulge himself just this once. It was his birthday, after all.

"No, of course not," he said finally.

"Awesome."

Cas spent the remainder of the walk recounting the afternoon and discussing his brothers in general. Sam had a particular interest in Lucifer's time at Harvard, since he himself was leaning towards studying law at Stanford after earning his Bachelor's degree. Once they arrived in front of Dean's building, Castiel actually got anxious as Sam pressed the button beside the messily scrawled, _'Winchester'_.

" _Yeah, who is it?"_   Dean's voice came from the intercom.

"It's Sam. I'm here to get the keys."

" _Okay. Come on up."_

When the buzz sounded, Sam pushed the door open and turned to look at Cas. "You wanna go with me? It'll only take a second."

The other nodded. It was stupid that he was excited over this, Cas thought as he followed Sam through the door and into the elevator. But he could feel his eagerness grow every time the numbers overhead noted a passing floor.

They didn't have to wait long for Dean to open his door. "Hey, Cas! You're here too?" His eyebrows quirked upwards at the sight of the Novak.

"I'm taking him to Ellen's for some burgers," Sam explained, grinning.

"Are you? That's great. Keys are over here, c'mon."

Castiel politely stayed behind and watched Dean and Sam retreat into the living room, figuring they'd be back instantly. But apparently, he had been wrong because a moment after, he was summoned.

"Cas? Get in here!" he heard Sam call.

He followed the sound of the voice, all the while wondering why they would need his assistance with the keys. Stepping into the room in search of some answers, he only had a second to register the words, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" being hollered at him, before he was pelted with confetti. Spitting out bits of colourful paper, Cas' eardrums rang with laughter and claps as he blinked in surprise.

Dean's couch and floor had been overtaken by five teenagers, each holding a confetti cannon.

Cas turned to his best friend, standing to the side and wearing the biggest grin he had ever seen. "Oh my God, _Sam!_ "

"Surprised?" he said back.

"I can't believe I fell for the same trick twice." Cas looked around the room, smiling sheepishly at each of his friends. "Did my rule about no parties slip your mind this year?" he asked Sam.

Jo snorted. "Cas, there's no way you're calling _this_ a party."

"It's more of a get-together, really," Sam agreed.

"I guess I shouldn't have expected something as simple as dinner at The Roadhouse," Cas amended.

"Well, that part's not a complete bust," Charlie piped up from her seat beside Glenda. "Jo brought over some stuff that her mom made."

"And we rented some movies for later," Chuck added and waved a plastic bag in Cas' direction, the DVD cases inside rattling to prove his point. "You get to pick."

"Thank you," Castiel said, to everyone involved as well as Sam, who had made a move to take his jacket. "You guys didn't have to go through the trouble."

Jo rolled her eyes, but stood up to hug him and wish him a happy birthday once more. Soon enough, everyone was picking themselves up to congratulate Cas again. Sam was back at his side, grinning smugly as he placed an arm around Castiel's shoulder. Between all the overlapping voices, Cas almost didn't notice that Dean was missing, having probably slipped away while the former was still in shock. Cas excused himself quietly from Sam's hold, answering his concerned frown with a reassuring smile, before stepping away.

He found Dean in his bedroom down the hall and waved a little when the blond saw him through the open door. He seemed to be digging through one of the drawers of his bedside table. Cas took note of his clothes – a green plaid button-up and a pair of dark jeans. Nothing special, but not something he'd walk around his apartment in.

"What are you doing in here?" Dean asked Cas as he came to his side. "Hey, turn around! No peeking."

"Sorry," Cas said automatically, twisting so his back was to Dean's. "What was that?"

"Your present, Sherlock. Wanted to give it to you before I beat it."

The words almost had Cas spinning round again. "You're not staying?" he blurted before he could think better of it.

Chuckling, Dean turned around so his shoulder was brushing against Cas. "Nah. Funnily enough, _I'm_ going to The Roadhouse with Benny, and let you guys have fun here. Anyway, here it is."

Castiel took the offered object, only to frown at it curiously. "A tape? Whose?"

"A _mix_ tape," he heard Dean correct. "And it's mine. Made it so you can have all your favourites in one place."

The tape itself was ordinary – a simple, plain black with no stickers. Nothing caught his eye but the small, _'Cas'_ on the label, written in Dean's scratched penmanship.

Castiel lightly traced it with his thumb, smiling. "Dean, this is amazing. I love it."

"Cas, it's not like I gave you a million bucks," Dean teased, though Castiel thought he saw a hint of a flush.

Shaking his head, he countered, "This is so much better. Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. I've got one more thing." Then out of the drawer, he pulled out his old Walkman. He pointed it at Cas meaningfully as he spoke. "Figured you'd need somethin' to listen to it with. I doubt you got any more of these at home."

When the meaning of Dean's words hit him, Castiel raised his hands in refusal. "No, I can't take your Walkman, Dean! I'm sure I can find something else. Lucifer's bound to have his—"

"No, I want you to have this one," Dean responded, then took Cas' hand and tucked the Walkman into his palm. The only reason Castiel didn't struggle was because of the tingles he felt striking him like a thunderbolt when Dean's fingers closed around his. "Got it?" Dean asked, eyebrows raising expectantly.

But Cas couldn't get anything when his mind was too busy freaking out over the fact that Dean was definitely holding his hand longer than necessary. All he could do was swallow thickly and nod.

Dean didn't seem to notice anything peculiar, only patting his hand once before finally letting go. "Good."

"Wait, but—" Cas protested when Dean took off in the direction of the hall. "Dean, you've got dozens of tapes, you _need_ this."

Picking up his shoes, Dean waved him off and insisted, "I really don't. Sammy got me one of those iPod things and we put most of my music on that. 'Sides, I got my baby's cassette player for when I go on the road."

Cas sighed at his stubbornness, but picked up Dean's leather jacket from the hook for him as he stood up. "Are you sure?"

" _Positive_ — Thanks," Dean replied, taking the jacket and shrugging it on. After one more glance in the direction of the living room, the source of all the laughter, he said, "Have a good time, okay? Do whatever you feel like tonight."

"I will. Thank you, again."

Their eyes met and though the tone of Dean's voice indicated he was leaving now, Cas couldn't bring himself to look away. He felt warm under the green gaze that danced between his own eyes and his lips. Dean's eyes were soft and sincere, but something more intimate seemed to be hiding behind his wide pupils.

"You coming or what, Cas?" It took a second or two to register Charlie's call.

Clearing his throat, Dean smiled crookedly. "Looks like your party's waiting."

"Right." Cas took a step back, trying to blink away the intensity of Dean's stare that was seared in his mind. "Just— One more thing, Dean."

Dean looked up from the door handle he had been holding. "Yeah?"

"What's on it? The tape?" Cas asked and raised the object in question. He was sure that his friends one room over could hear the hitch in his breath when the blond leaned in so close Castiel could taste his breath on his lips.

Dean grinned cheekily. "What's the point in telling? Give it a spin and let me know how you like it."

When the door closed, Cas was left in the hall alone, with hints of the most ill-timed arousal breaking through.

* * *

On the whole, Castiel had a much better time than he'd ever expected. He thought that having all the attention focused on him would stand in the way of having any fun whatsoever. But most of the time was spent reminiscing about various escapades from high school, discussing college, and eating. Even Jo bullying him into opening each of his presents publicly turned out to be fun, since Glenda suggested each tried to guess what was inside before Castiel opened it. The game turned sillier and sillier with each passing present, until everyone was trying to outdo each other with the most inconceivable guess.

(Dean's present stayed snugly tucked away in the pocket of Cas' jacket, still hanging in the hall. He had a selfish need to keep that one private.)

By the time all of Ellen's burgers and fries and her home-made cake had disappeared, it was ten-thirty, and someone suggested to settle down and watch a film. Castiel had been so exhausted at that point that he picked out the first DVD case shown to him, then snuggled into Sam's shoulders to snooze a little. He (along with Kevin and Charlie) were shaken awake at the crucial finale, when everyone else started getting worried because it seemed like the hero wasn't going to make it.

Once he inevitably saved the world and survived, midnight had long past and so rolled in the worried calls from mothers. Each person picked themselves up at a different pace, gathering their belongings and attempting to pick up the trash, before being shooed off by Sam. As shoes were tugged on, everyone recounted who would be taking who home. After sleepy goodbyes and hugs, the front door was closed, and Sam and Cas got a start on clean-up.

Cas was just in the middle of stifling a yawn with some discarded wrapping paper when they heard the sound of the lock clicking open.

"Uh, did someone forget something?" Sam called sluggishly, after a shared look with his best friend.

"It's me, genius. I'm the only one with the keys, remember?" came Dean's answer. "Who's still here?" he asked, voice echoing from the hall.

"Just me and Cas," Sam replied through a yawn of his own.

"Okay, I suggest the following—" Dean stopped short at the sight before him. "Christ, what are you guys doing? Stop, I'll do in the morning."

"But it's our mess," Cas pointed out, already feeling guilty enough over kicking Dean out of his own apartment for almost six hours.

"Forget it. Birthday boys don't do clean-up. Listen, Cas, you take my bed. Me and Sammy will sleep on the couch."

"What? No," Cas said. "I can sleep on the couch with Sam. I'm much smaller than you are, it'll be an easier fit." Dean tried to argue, but he cut him off with, "I'm the birthday boy. I get to choose."

"Besides, I don't wanna sleep with you, Dean." Sam wrinkled his nose. "You snore."

"And you're gassy, bitch. Now go to sleep."

Sam responded to his brother with, "Jerk," then got to pulling out the couch, while Dean briefly disappeared to get extra sheets and pillows.

"Cas, you should also shoot a text to your folks, tell 'em you'll spend the night here," Dean added.

"Oh, crap. Can you tell my mom too?" Sam pitched in as he tossed the pillows that Dean handed to him into place.

Castiel answered in the affirmative and after sending both messages, helped Sam out with the remainder of the work.

Dean hovered by them while they finished up. "No one's allowed to be up and walking around before nine," he told them, only half-joking, before wishing them good night and heading to his own bedroom. Once he was gone, Sam and Cas stripped down to their underwear, crawled beneath their covers and switched the nearby lamp off.

Sam was out before his head hit his pillow, but Castiel waited for a few minutes while listening to Dean shuffle around in the bathroom, then finally close his bedroom door and shut the lights off. Just in case, Cas didn't make a sound a little longer, then tossed his covers to the side and tip-toed into the hall. There, he fished out his new Walkman and tape, then hurried back to bed.

With his pillow adjusted comfortably, the tape set and the headphones tucked over his ears, Cas let his body sink into the mattress and pressed 'play'. The opening guitar strums of _You Shook Me All Night Long –_ the only AC/DC song Dean had gotten him to like – thrummed in his ears. As the drum picked up a beat as well, Castiel wiggled his toes along with it and slowly let sleep take over.

Castiel was still wearing his headphones when he woke in the morning, but there was no music playing from them. The tape must have ended at some point in the night. Rolling over allowed Cas to see the digital clock by the TV and established that it was just shy of ten AM. Beside him, Sam's chest rose and fell slowly in deep breaths, indicating that he was still asleep.

Castiel made sure to be as quiet as possible when he left the bed, then padded in the direction of the kitchen, rewinding Dean's mixtape as he went. Holding the Walkman in one hand and rummaging through the cupboards with the other, Cas settled on a simple breakfast that consisted of cornflakes, milk, and some orange juice he had found in the refrigerator. Once the tape was back at the start, Cas waited a bit while he fast-forwarded a little, eager to pick up where he left off.

Hips softly swaying to the tune, he lip-synced the words to _Start Me Up_ as he prepared his cereal, grinning at how appropriate the song was for morning. He stopped singing only when he needed to gather his things and carry them over to the teeny one-leg table by the window. Although he was prevented from doing anything more than nodding his head along in favour of chewing his food, Cas found breakfast to be much more enjoyable with the Rolling Stones set as his soundtrack. The same rule applied to loading his dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

The song started to come to an end as Cas rinsed his hands and dried them off, picking up on the approaching footsteps only once the tape shifted to the next track. He didn't need to turn around to see who it was. By the weight of the steps, he already knew Dean was coming towards him from behind. Then two things happened at once.

The first plucks of an acoustic guitar began, signalling the start of the Beatles' _Blackbird._

And Dean Winchester hummed appraisingly, "Damn, ain't that ass a sight to wake up to."

Castiel froze.

"W— _What?_ " he stuttered, yanking his headphones down and spinning around so fast that it hurt his neck.

He watched as Dean's face morphed from a sleepy, shameless smirk to a horrified gape.

"Holy shit!" he hissed. "I thought your Walkman was on! I— I didn't think you'd hear me!"

" _Blackbird_ is a relatively quiet song," Cas explained, suddenly feeling extremely exposed in nothing but his boxers and t-shirt.

A long, awkward silence followed, during which Dean seemed torn between staring at Cas' face or at his legs, and Castiel really wished he'd stop _looking_ at him that intensely, because it was making his blood-flow rush to parts of his body that it should definitely not be in right now.

Dean was the first to break the quiet with a very meaningful, "Uh."

If Cas didn't know any better, he'd say Dean was acting like he was _attracted_ to him. But he did know better, because Dean made himself very clear on where he stood, as far as their relationship was concerned. So why were Dean's lust-blown pupils honing on Cas like this?

"Dean?" was all Castiel could momentarily think of saying.

Dean's answer was muffled on account of the way he rubbed a hand over his face. " _Fuck_ , Cas, this isn't..." he croaked. "It wasn't... Not like— I didn't—"

He turned silent again, mouth agape and eyes dejected.

Anxiety spread through Cas' entire body. "Dean, what—?"

Dean silenced him with a gesticulation, before exhaling through his mouth and taking a slow step forward. "Cas, listen, you _know_ how I feel about you, man. You're one of the closest friends I've got. And I don't know how it happened, okay? But one day, I just... didn't see you like that anymore. I— I _wanted_ things that friends didn't. And I knew, I _knew,_ it couldn't work for a bunch of reasons, so I did my damnedest to keep it to myself. But you made it just _so damn difficult,_ and sometimes I..." He trailed off and chuckled mirthlessly. " _God_ , I fucked up, haven't I?"

Cas was torn between laughing and crying about how wonderfully wrong he was. He wanted to explain _everything_ at once, but had no idea where to even begin. So instead, he stood on his toes, steadied himself by holding onto Dean's shoulders, and leaned in until there was an inch of space left between their lips.

There was a split second where time seemed to slow down as Cas closed the distance, before his eyes slipped shut and let the feel of Dean's mouth over-flood his senses. It was warm, soft and chaste, a simple release of everything Cas had been too afraid of saying before. He savoured the taste and fullness of the other's lips, enjoyed the way they melded perfectly with his own. They parted with a faint smack, Dean watching him in a state of awe and wonder.

"This is why you should discuss your feelings often," Cas joked weakly, mind working like an engine. "How long has this been going on?"

The breath Dean let out was shaky, but relieved. "Uh... I think I figured it out when I was nineteen? _Christ_ , I was pervert."

Chuckling, Castiel waited till they were both listening before continuing. "Okay. But then Ash's party. The morning after, you told me it wasn't—"

"I _lied_ , Cas," Dean cut him off. "It fucking killed me to say that stuff to you, but I didn't think you wanted this."

"How could you know for sure? Why didn't you just tell me?"

Dean shook his head. "It's not that easy, Cas. It wasn't just that, you were _sixteen_. It was just barely legal, for Christ's sake, who knows what your folks would've said. Even if you did want this, I didn't want to put you in that spot, make you have to choose or I— I don't know."

Castiel wanted to deny it, but Dean was right. At that time, the age difference would have been too large. Even if Dean was a family friend, Cas doubted his parents – not to mention the Winchesters as well – would have found it appropriate.

"Hey." Dean's soft rumble shook him from his thoughts. "I know that face, Cas. Relax. It's better this way, okay?"

Frowning, Cas asked, "What do you mean?"

Dean seemed to get a little self-conscious. With a sheepish smile, he explained, "Well, you're eighteen now, remember? Legal adult and all. And if you still want this, I'm game."

Castiel couldn't agree fast enough. He cupped Dean's jaw and gently brought their lips together again, his nose grazing the other's. Dean was ready this time, hands taking a hold of his waist, tugging him closer so their bodies pressed up against each other from chest to hips. Slowly, Cas' fingers trailed upwards, carded through the blond hairs at Dean's nape as their kisses turned more insistent. He moaned softly when Dean passed a sliver of tongue over the seam of his lips, easily deepening the kiss.

Heat spread over Cas' skin and through his body, every place that Dean touched lit up like a spark. He didn't realize he had been moving until the small of his back hit the counter. Then Dean pushed even more, slotting his thigh between Cas' legs in search of friction. His groan rumbled deep in his chest when Castiel started pushing against him for more, and he obliged by hitching up the other's shirt a little, rubbing his fingers right above the waistband of his boxers. Arousal pooled low in Cas' belly from that simple touch. His grip on the blond strands tightened in thanks, then guided Dean lower until the press of his lips was on his throat. Dean kissed the expanse of it chastely, murmured softly into the skin under the jut of his jaw.

The treatment distracted Castiel from all else around him, even the sound of Sam entering the kitchen. A particularly loud whoop from the latter prompted Dean to pull back and scowl at his brother.

"Oh, man, I never knew you guys would be this gross," Sam said, scrunching up his face.

Cas snorted into Dean's shoulder, pressing his nose against the fabric of his shirt, while the blond quipped, "My house, my rules, Sammy. Close your eyes and quit whining."

Sam ignored his sibling, smiling at Cas instead, and being the greatest best friend in the world, made quick work of jogging over to Dean's bread basket and grabbed the nearest bagel, then scurried back into the living room.

"Oh!" he called, spinning around and walking backwards. "Just so you know, I called it _ages_ ago!"

" _Sam!_ "

* * *

"Sam! Dean! I need one of you in the kitchen!"

"Just a second, Mom!" Sam insisted as Darth Vader inspected the carbon-freezing chamber.

"Lunch will be ready in a few minutes! Someone come help with the salad!" came Mrs Winchester's call again.

Sam and Dean looked at each other.

"You go," Sam said quickly, before his brother had a chance to open his mouth.

"Dude, no! You're the one who lives here."

"I can go," Cas volunteered, looked between the two.

"No, you don't have to," Dean instantly protested, his grip around Cas' shoulder tightening a little. "Sam'll go."

Said brother shot him a bitch-face. "Dean!"

"Rock, paper, scissors," Dean decided.

"Fine."

They watched each other's hands intensely as Dean counted aloud, like they were trying to predict the moves. In the end, Sam spluttered indignantly when Dean threw 'paper', beating his 'rock'.

Dean gave him a shit-eating grin. "Bye."

Groaning, Sam got to his feet and flipped him off, before jogging to the kitchen, where his mother was calling again. The remaining Winchester chuckled, and adjusted his arm around Cas, who had scooted closer now that Sam wasn't there to fake-gag at the sight of PDA.

They turned their attention back to the TV just in time to see Boba Fett bring in Han Solo, Princess Leia and Chewbacca. C3PO was strapped to the Wookiee's back in several parts, twisting around and complaining about being legless.

As the bounty hunter approached Vader, Cas attempted in a terrible Australian accent, " _What if he doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me."_

" _The Empire will compensate you if he dies. Put him in!"_ Dean responded along with Vader, in a deep pitch that wasn't unlike his regular voice.

When Chewbacca started beating up Stormtroopers in protest, the two of them tried to imitate as many sounds as possible at the same time, from various grunts to C3PO's protests. Cas left the Wookiee's yells to Dean for the most part, since he was much better at copying them.

"Oh my _God_ , will you two shut up?!" Sam yelled from the kitchen when Han Solo joined the argument too. "I can't hear anything!"

Dean and Cas settled down again after Chewie was calm again and bound. Then Leia and Han turned to each other, and knowing what would come next, Dean looked down at Cas. "I love you," he said, seconds before the princess mimicked him on TV.

Grinning, Castiel answered in the only way appropriate, "I know."

The corners of Dean's lips pulled down into a frown. He forgot all about the action on the screen in favour of demanding, "Did you— Did you just _Solo_ me?"

"It was so perfect, I had to," Cas said, but Dean was no longer listening. He was too busy crawling on top of the other, trying to catch his wrists. "What are you doing?" Castiel asked as Dean pushed him away, failing to realize that he was actually being manoeuvred onto his back.

"Totally ticklin' you to death for this," Dean grunted back, and despite Cas' instant wriggling attempt to get free, he bracketed the other's hips with his thighs. With one hand, he managed to pin both of Castiel's wrists to the armrest above his head and wiggled his free fingers tauntingly.

"Dean, you're sitting on me—" Cas protested, laughing. "Oh God, wait, wait, wait! Don't!"

Luckily, the grip Dean had on his wrists was weak enough to allow him to slip free. Cas' fingers twined with Dean's in attempt to hold him back. Instead, the blond pulled him in and brought their lips together. Their hands were freed, Cas' moving to support himself on his elbows, Dean's to cup the back of the teen's head.

When they parted for breath, Cas smiled shyly. "You know I love you, Dean."

"Yeah," Dean replied, surprisingly soft, before sitting up and standing. "Sammy! Is the food ready?" he yelled over the couch.

"Yeah! You and Cas can make the table!" Sam shouted back.

Dean picked up the remote to put pause right before Luke got his hand chopped off, then took hold of Castiel's arms. "C'mon. You heard him."

Cas let himself be dragged to his feet and into another open-mouthed kiss. Rubbing his thumbs along Dean's knuckles, he basked in the languid drag of lips against his, and decided that, whatever his six-year-old self's opinion might have been, Dean Winchester certainly wasn't _all_ bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote, folks! I know there's still the epilogue that I promised (and that will be coming up in a day or two), but I wanted to use this moment to say thanks to everyone who read, favourited, and left comments and kudos! You guys are the best motivation for writing, seriously.
> 
> Oh! If you haven't seen Richard Speight's Pepsi commercials, please do yourself a favour and go watch them. They're hilarious.


	8. Epilogue

Taking deep, calming breaths, Castiel stood motionless, face to face with the front door of Dean's apartment. However, he was beginning to doubt that this action was doing anything for his nerves, because the anxiety he had walked with here _ten minutes ago_ was still present, shaking him to his core.

Relax, he really should relax. It was just like any visit to Dean's apartment.

Except that this time, Cas was going to be having sex with Dean for the first time. Addendum: Cas was going to be having sex for the first time, _period_.

Oh, _God_ , there was no way he was going to relax.

It had all started last Friday, when Castiel was having lunch (read: Chinese take-away) with Dean at his place. Having been convinced they could eat everything they had ordered – and really, what had they been thinking? There were _always_ leftovers when it came to Chinese food – they had ended up bloated beyond movement to the point where Dean had suggested they just lie on his bed and sleep it off. But napping turned into chit-chat, which turned into full discussions, which turned into a make-out session.

Cas loved kissing Dean. And although he never had much experience other than a few test-runs with Inias in his sophomore year, he liked to think his skills had substantially improved since. What with August rolling in at full speed and Cas beginning to feel the pressure of college starting soon, he and Dean spent every free moment together to make up for lost time. Which meant lots and lots of practice in the kissing department.

So returning to the shenanigans ensuing after the take-away catastrophe. Dean was stationed on his side, one elbow keeping him upright and his free hand cupping Cas' cheek, with Castiel's own stance basically mirroring this. Cas must have been too busy being distracted by the magic that was Dean Winchester's tongue to notice the blond's hand travel lower towards his waist, finally slipping beneath his shirt and caressing his stomach. So far, it was business as usual, because there was always bound to be some level of groping going on. But then Dean became bolder than he normally was, and started pushing forward until Cas was on his back with him right on top. Which honestly wouldn't have bothered Castiel at all, if it wasn't for the husky question that followed in between Dean's warm kisses.

"Cas, can we... Do you wanna have sex?"

The way Castiel had frozen up and stopped breathing must have been answer enough for Dean. Cas had tried to apologize an instant after, but was reassured that it was "no big deal" and "totally understandable if you still need time". It did lead to a long talk afterwards, however. And though one part of Cas was just wishing for it to stop so things could go back to being how they were, comfortable and clothed and _familiar_ , the other part was over the moon about Dean willingly communicating with him. Dean was by no means a man who liked discussing feelings, but the fact was that he was _trying_. And so Cas decided he should be able to do that for him in return, starting with the thing Dean enjoyed most.

So it was settled. Exactly one week from that afternoon, at the exact same time, Cas would come over, and Dean would show him the very best of times in the bedroom.

Which now brought him back to the present.

It wasn't that Cas wasn't ready. Physically and mentally, he knew that he was. He had picked up on how his body reacted to Dean's touch a long time ago, how it wanted more than just the feeling of denim rubbing against his straining erection. And there had been the two occasions when he'd been woken by scarily explicit dreams of the two of them, involving a minimal amount of clothing (if any) and less than virtuous positions.

In the end, Castiel supposed it was just the _novelty_ of it all. Not so much the part about seeing Dean completely naked. Although Cas was greatly looking forward to that, Dean's penis wasn't exactly unexplored territory – they had given each other handjobs before, and had recently progressed to trying out blowjobs. It was the idea of actual _sex_ that had Cas so perturbed. He did everything he could to prepare and find out what to expect, reading articles online and various (some helpful, but most not) Yahoo answers. He even tried watching porn once, but soon found it not so much informative as it was over-exaggerated for entertainment purposes.

It was silly that he was so worked up about this, he _knew_ it was. Everyone had to start somewhere and that included having sex, but somehow the feeling of possibly letting Dean down didn't waver.

Finally, ignoring his racing heart, ignoring the way his hand shook as he lifted it, Castiel pressed the doorbell once and listened to it chime, announcing his arrival. He checked his watch to keep his mind occupied as he waited, and established that he was a little late, but there was nothing to do about that now. Not when footsteps approached, followed by the sound of the door opening and the sight of Dean's smile.

It calmed Cas' nerves a fraction or two. "Hey," was the only word his brain could summon at the moment.

"Hey," Dean returned, before taking a step back to let the other in. When he tugged at the collar of Cas' trench coat, Castiel allowed his arms to slip out of the sleeves, then got to rubbing his knuckle into his palm as Dean set the coat on a peg. "You okay? S'it cold outside?" Dean asked once he was standing in front of him again.

"What? Oh. No, not really." Castiel tried to put on his best happy smile, but obviously failed when Dean's reaction was a snort.

"You're still nervous about putting out?" he clarified without really needing to. Cas' constant knuckle-rubbing was put to an end when Dean took hold of his wrists. "We don't have to, okay? We can chill on the couch and watch shitty TV."

For a second, Cas was tempted. Tempted to just stretch out his legs, let Dean rest his arm along the back of the couch and feel him drag his thumb along Cas' collarbone. But—

"No, we can, um. I _want_ to, Dean."

And he did. He _really_ did. Dean had been so patient with him, so unquestioning and supportive. Castiel knew that, despite insisting that he could wait a year if he had to – which Cas believed – Dean was a sexual being by nature. He was probably feeling as fidgety as Cas was, but for a different reason.

Cas loved Dean and Dean loved him, and they'd work through it together. He yearned to get past the awkward phase, to advance to the reasons that made Dean love sex in the first place. The heat, the intimacy, the rush that comes with the feeling of skin against skin.

The next time blue eyes met green, there was much less nervousness coursing through Castiel's body. He tipped his chin up to meet Dean's lips halfway, sighing when the blond sucked on his lower lip. Then they were crossing the short distance between the hall and the bedroom, where Dean got started on the layers of clothes between them. He made quick work of the buttons on his shirt and shucked it off his shoulders, and Cas only had a second to let his eyes roam over the smooth expanse of his tanned chest before he had to manoeuvre his head and arms out of his own shirt, which Dean had started to take off. It was tossed to the side unceremoniously, leaving Cas' hair in a more disheveled state than before, strands sticking out at odd angles, the way he knew Dean liked.

Their mouths were pressed together again and for the most part, Cas kept his attention on Dean's lips, since his hands were too jittery to do anything else but cup the angled jaw in front of him. He could hear the clinking of his belt coming undone through the mingling gasps and not too shortly after, could feel Dean hooking his fingers into the waistband of his jeans.

"Cas, you still on board here?" Dean's hands stilled as he spoke.

Castiel answered in the affirmative, and added insistently, "You don't have to keep asking. I'm okay."

A pang of excitement flashed through Cas' stomach when Dean gently pushed the fabric down, scrunching his jeans around his knees. He helped by holding onto Castiel's waist as the other wiggled out of the pant legs, almost stumbling over in the process. The shared laugh that followed brought some relief to the tension.

"You good?" Dean asked once the other was upright.

"Yes," Cas said, grinning through his flush. "Will you just show me how to get your pants off without tripping?" he demanded when Dean chuckled at him again.

Never one to back down from a challenge, Dean shimmied out of both his washed-out jeans and underwear without any trouble, eyebrows arched playfully and white teeth on display. It aroused Cas more than it should, which only made the blond grin wider.

When Dean straightened his back, he didn't seem to have any qualms about Cas' obvious staring. The eighteen-year-old had seen him wearing a sweaty t-shirt plenty of times, clinging onto his body and gratuitously showing off what was underneath. But those memories were nothing compared to the real thing. Working with cars had given Dean a toned body. His shoulders were wide, his hips were narrow, and Cas could see some freckles dusting the taut muscle of his chest.

"And the cherry on the top," Dean teased in order to catch Cas' attention again. He waited till the blue eyes darted back to his own, then said, "Your boxers."

But rather than removing said item of clothing, he placed the lightest pressure on Cas' hips and brought their bodies flush together, purposely rocking his hard-on against Castiel's through the single layer of fabric. Moaning deeply at the contact, he caught Cas' lips in an open-mouth kiss, all obscene licks and hard nips.

Castiel sighed the blond's name into his mouth, unsure whether his goosebumps were a result of the red-hot friction or the way Dean's fingers glided along the small of his back. They wound round to tease, tracing patterns just above the waistband, before slipping underneath. Cas' breath hitched when Dean squeezed mischievously, kneading his fingertips into the flesh. Sparks of pleasure lit up his spine, and his own hands fisted into the short blond strands, tugged at them like they were his anchor.

When the hands resurfaced, his thumbs caught the band of the boxers and started revealing each sliver of skin inch by inch. Cas gazed directly into Dean's lust-blown pupils, cheeks flaming at the attention he was receiving from the unwavering stare. A mix of sincerity and shameless want flickering behind the thin rings of green.

Once again, Cas stepped out of his underwear somewhat clumsily and looking back up, he was very aware that this time, there was nothing to separate the touch of Dean's skin against his own. The thought sent another rush of arousal through him as he realized that they were still far from done.

"Here's where the fun starts," Dean crooned with an impish grin. Taking the other's hand, he led him to one side of the bed, where he sat Cas down while he opened the drawer in his bedside table. It only took a second – Castiel didn't even get a chance to peek over his shoulder and see what he had been looking for – then Dean was straightening his back and making noises of protest when Cas attempted to scoot over.

"Okay," Dean started conversationally and took a seat beside the other, letting their shoulders graze each other. "Here's the lube, and here are the condoms," he said and wiggled each respective item. Jerking his chin at the box of condoms, Dean added with a smirk, "Bought those yesterday, so there's no need to worry about the expiration date. I'm clean, but just in case you were scared of getting pregnant."

Cas rolled his eyes. "Shut up," he snorted, but didn't fight when Dean tilted his chin up to kiss the jut of his jaw. It was a reassurance for his nerves, quick and chaste, and it brought a smile to Castiel's face.

"Keep smiling for me, baby. Now—" Dean punctuated the word by kicking his legs up and rolling over to lean his back against the headboard. Then he beckoned Cas to him, adjusting him so the teen was straddling his thighs. "I think that, since it's your first time, it'll be better if you're on my lap and, uh. You know. _Riding_ me."

Cas bit his lip, thinking back to the countless articles he had read, some of which had included a thing or two about positions. From what he remembered, Dean's suggestion would allow him to control what was going on, but there was the small detail of being required to do most of the moving, which—

"I don't know how to," he blurted out. God, he was useless at this.

But Dean just kept on smiling. "That's fine, Cas," he assured, before pursing his lips in thought. "Uh— Just grind into my lap. Same like when we're making out, okay?"

"Okay." Cas smiled sheepishly, once more taking the moment to appreciate how wonderful Dean was to him. This was definitely not going to come close to the standard he usually had when it came to sex, but his eyes were bright all the same, watching Castiel with so much warmth, like he was his whole world.

A selfish part of Cas squirmed in delight at the thought as he leaned forward to lick into Dean's mouth again, breath catching when his erection brushed against the blond's. A pleased hum from Dean buzzed against Cas' lips, before he parted their mouths a fraction to ask low and breathy,

"Gotta stretch you, sweetheart. Do you wanna do it or should I?"

It took Castiel a moment to understand that Dean was talking about fingering. Heat flooded his face at how quickly his mind decided that _of course_ Dean was going to be the one doing it. Cas had tried fingering himself a few times just to try it out and had mostly gotten the hang of it, but not quite enough of the satisfaction.

"You can – if you... want to?" Cas hoped his answer didn't sound too eager.

From the way Dean's pupils dilated even more and his dick twitched in interest, Cas concluded that was a very enthusiastic 'yes'.

The bottle of lube was scooped up from its place on the bedside table and popped open without another word. Castiel watched Dean warm it up between his fingers, then was instructed to lift his hips a little, steadying himself by holding the other's shoulders.

"It might hurt a little at first, Cas. You gotta tell me if it does," Dean clarified as he reached behind the other. "I'll slow down if you need me to or use more lube."

A quick peck was all the answer Dean needed from the other, then he was spreading him open and pushing in at an agonizingly gradual pace.

Cas tensed at the initial burn, a faint cry breaking from his lips, his fingers gripped tight into the flesh of Dean's shoulders. Dean stopped almost immediately after, waited until Cas was ready, then steadily picked up again. Dean's eyes searched Cas' for any signs of discomfort, never wavering or breaking contact, and to assure him, Castiel massaged his clavicles encouragingly.

"This okay?" Dean asked once he was in all the way to the knuckle, easing his finger in and out of Cas slowly to let him get used to the sensation.

Castiel could feel his smile grow as each stroke melted from pain to pleasure. "Yeah, it feels good, just— _ah_ — a little different."

His sensitivity lingered as Dean worked a second digit in, the line between ache and satisfaction remaining thin, and there had been several pauses in between, but by the addition of the third, Cas was seeing stars.

His own attempts were nothing compared to what he felt now. Maybe it was due to his lack of skill, or maybe it was just the fact that it was Dean touching him. With every crook and cross of his fingers, his body wanted to push back for more, and he let it, urging Dean to press deeper. The blond obliged happily, adjusting his angle and peppering Castiel's pale, heaving chest with feather-soft kisses. He murmured praises and approval into his skin, whispers that only made Cas cry out for him more.

Then the tip of Dean's middle finger grazed something that made lightning shoot through his body and a fresh spurt of precome bead at his tip. Cas let out a quivery gasp that caused Dean to gleam smugly, and the teen belatedly realized he had found his prostate.

"You like that?" Dean teased, and though he didn't try to touch him there again, his pace quickened somewhat.

Castiel chuckled breathily and nodded, before pressing his forehead to Dean's. Feeling a little bolder than before, inquired, "Could we... ? For real now?"

It looked like Dean wanted to say yes more than anything, but instead he rasped, "Wait, baby. Just let me go on a little more."

'A little more' proved to be a bigger challenge than Castiel had expected, but he had Dean's mouth to distract him, lapping at his skin and sucking hickeys into it. Dean was using the time to find out more about Cas' body, what turned him on the most. He'd listen intently and look up every now and then for feedback, which Cas wholeheartedly provided. No part of him was left untasted – the crook of his neck, the slope of his shoulder, the spot right in the middle of his breastbone.

But Cas knew Dean's resolve was waning when his breathing grew ragged, much like his own had been the past few minutes. Suddenly the sensation of Dean's fingers was gone, now busy picking out the first condom that came into contact and tearing the package open. Cas watched as he rolled it on, then smeared a little more lube over himself, just in case. A new wave of excitement washed over Castiel as Dean took hold of his hips, bringing him forward and positioning him. Then slowly, steadily, he was helping him down, watchful of any frowns or winces.

Cas swallowed thickly, and lapsed into silence for a few moments before a prickle of pain lit up, making him grab onto Dean's biceps again. "Wait, please, stop."

"You okay? You need me to prep you some more?" Dean asked, already preparing to pull out.

"No, it's— it's fine. Just." Cas inhaled once, twice. Then with a small smile directed at Dean, his body was moving lower again. This time, Dean held onto him tighter, strictly keeping the tempo constant and _slow_.

Once he was fully seated, there was a pause as Cas shifted and fidgeted till Dean was properly settled inside. It felt nothing like having his fingers inside him. It was _much better_ , more whole and pleasing and intimate. An abashed smile found its way to his lips when Dean ran his hands down his sides.

"All good, Cas?" He licked his lips. At Cas' confirming murmur, his eyebrows quirked suggestively. "Ready to rock?"

Cas laughed, nodding. "I am."

"Good." Dean shuffled a little so he was lying down more comfortably, his palms warm on Cas' hips. "Choose whatever speed you're good with, baby. I'll catch on and follow."

For a second, Cas forgot everything he'd ever researched – even the damn porn – and waited dumbly, rooted to the spot. Then worrying his lip, he gave an experimental rock forwards, and— Wow, that actually felt kind of good.

He tried again, a little more confident this time, earning a guttural rumble from Dean as a reward, a stimulation to keep going, until finally, he got a regular rhythm started. The blond pushed back in steady pumps of his hips, rubbing circles into his hipbones. Tingles rushed up and down his spine, and the sensations he felt weren't so much painful as they were unusual, though Cas figured with Dean's help, he could get used to this.

At one point, Cas remembered the advice he had gotten at the start, and ground down against Dean. The friction was _amazing_ , and Cas had to bite his lip in attempt to stifle his mewl. Dean responded in kind, digging his fingers into his skin, even bucking up once, which sent a jolt through Cas, surprised but not at all unpleasant.

" _Dean_..." he whimpered in a way he'd be embarrassed about if he wasn't so turned on.

"You're doin' so good, sweetheart," Dean reassured with an open grin. "Keep going, just keep going."

In answer, Castiel's hips rolled a few times, the way he'd noticed Dean enjoyed greatly whenever they kissed. It worked perfectly.

His eyes flickered with arousal, and he groaned, " _Fuck_ , Cas." One hand reached out to seize the teen's chin roughly and smash their mouths together. He kissed him the way he pressed into him – languid, deep and demanding.

Cas thrummed with pride, aware that Dean was straining to control himself from going any faster. So he picked up the speed, rutting against him more urgently, trying to find an angle from which Dean could push deeper, reach the spot again that made his toes curl.

He twirled his fingers into his hair to lead him on, panting into his mouth, "More— Dean, _please_."

"You sure, baby?" Dean breathed hoarsely, though Cas could tell his restraint was failing by the second. "Don't want to hurt you, Cas. We can slow down."

"No, go harder." Castiel shook his head furiously. "I _want_ you to. I'll take it."

Dean's laugh sounded strangled, and for a moment, Castiel didn't think he'd yield. But then his hold on Cas shifted as he bent his legs at the knee, letting his thrusts grow more earnest. It hurt only for the slightest of seconds, before Dean was stroking his prostate again and again, eliciting a moan from his lips. Every one of Cas senses became overwhelmed, his nerves felt on fire. His back arched, pushing him into Dean's chest, heat curling hot and heavy in the bottom of his belly. He could feel his body ache for release.

"Dean, I... I need..." he pleaded, voice shaking.

With one thumb trailing along his bottom lip, Dean echoed, "I know, I'm close too. Don't let go yet, baby. It'll feel so much better if you hold it first."

Cas complied, holding onto Dean with a vice-like grip and swaying in time with his sharp snaps. He pressed his face into the crook of Dean's neck, honed in all his focus on the fingers that soothingly ran down his back, making him shiver. The rhythm never wavered, mercilessly dragged on until the line between pain and pleasure blurred completely.

"C'mon, baby," Dean encouraged after what could have been minutes or hours. "Come right now, Cas."

It was all Castiel needed.

His vision was washed in white, and soon he was coming right between their stomachs in hot spurts. His tongue failed to form words and all he heard himself gasp was Dean's name over and over again. He felt like a supernova collapsing in on itself. Every part of his body squeezed around Dean, then the blond was moaning with him, rocking them through their orgasms. He didn't stop until they were both completely spent, panting and shaking.

Cas brought his sweaty forehead to Dean's, and he was held close as he shuddered like earth struck by thunder. Dean's palms began dragging lazily down his sides, their simple touch flaming against Cas' skin like fire. He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, listening to the slowing pace of their breaths as the pleasure melted into drowsiness.

Then Cas was gently rolled onto his back, wincing when Dean pulled out, and one eye sluggishly peeled open as he realized he was left alone for the moment. He registered Dean tying off his condom and crawling over to the edge of the bed, so he could toss it into the trash and pick up a discarded shirt. A whine vibrated from the back of Castiel's throat and he didn't even care how pitiful it sounded because all he wanted in life right now was Dean back in his arms.

The sound caught the latter's attention though, and with a smile, he made his way back, towering over the spot Cas lay in. He supported himself with one hand while the other wiped at Castiel's chest with the shirt, already somewhat soggy from when he cleaned himself up.

In the haze, Cas managed to frown and mumble, "Is that _my_ shirt?"

"Yeah, sorry." Dean threw it back to the ground once he was done. "First one I grabbed. You'll borrow one of mine, don't worry." He settled back down, half of his body draped over Cas', and kissed him soundly. "So. Sex. Not that scary after all, right?"

"No. You were right, it's very enjoyable," Cas answered cheekily. Most of his senses, as well as the ability of speech, were slowly coming back to him.

Dean nodded, satisfied, then added somewhat seriously, "How you feeling? Nothing funny?"

"A little sore." Cas shrugged – or tried to at least, since Dean was lying down on him. "But good. Better than, even."

Dean _mhm_ 'd smugly, placing a kiss right beneath his jaw as the other sighed into his hair and relaxed into the touch. "When you're feeling a little less tired and if you're not as sore anymore, we'll go clean up in the bathroom. I gotta introduce you to shower sex. That's the bomb."

Castiel frowned bemusedly. "The concept sounds somewhat counterproductive, Dean."

When he saw the size of Dean's bright, devious grin, Cas knew he was in trouble.

"You have _much_ to learn, young Padawan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to all who read and left feedback! You made this story that much more enjoyable to write :)


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